Being terminal isn't ll doom and gloom. There's some fun, as well. (And none of what follows is irreverent - it's related as it happened, with sincerity. Idiotic sincerity, perhaps.)
Some of it comes from being somewhat hard of hearing, and not having an extensive knowledge of Christian music. Barb has had to set me straight on some lyrics. (There's also the issue of repeated concussion scrambling my mental input.)
Me - "What's the Christian problem with squirrels?"
Barb - "Uh...OK. What?"
Me - "Well, I heard a song that goes, "Take these squirrels and give me Jesus..."
Barb - "World. Not squirrels, world."
Me - "Oh. Yeah, right, Knew that."
And, having a lot of Irish influence in my life, I was naturally drawn to -
Me - "Hey, Sweetie, love the Jesus beer song!"
Barb - "Uh...OK."
Me (singing) - "If you want the King of Beers...come and have a Bud with Jesus!"
Barb - "Help, my eyes rolled so far back they're stuck!"
Me - "Need a hand, or a screwdriver?"
Barb - (unprintable)
I was later informed that the correct lyrics were, "What shall wash away my tears, nothing but the Blood of Jesus..."
Oops.
Here's one in which a recent fall and concussion ruled. Barb was good enough to write it down -
Me - "What did Jesus have against tigers?"
Barb - "TIGERS?"
Me - "His friend Judas had a lion, you know, the lion of Judas...and He was always healing leopards...but why no tigers?"
Barb - "I can't even begin to answer that."
And then, of course, there's gallows humour - here's a meme I found, and while I can't trace its origin, if you click on the image you will find the site that carries it -
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!
And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Thanks for a good laugh today, Andrew. :) It's great you can laugh about these things and share them with others. I'm really sorry about your recent fall and concussion. Saying prayers for comfort and healing. Blessings and Happy Valentine's Day to you and Barb! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Gayl - I'm glad you enjoyed this!
DeleteHope you had a nice Valentine's Day yourself, and we sure do appreciate the prayers.
Too funny, Andrew! I'm so glad you're still keeping your sense of humor even as you suffer so each day. Your Chuck Norris meme reminded me of how my youngest son loved anything Chuck Norris. I bought him many a Chuck Norris t-shirt in his teens! Now he's going to be turning 21! My baby ... 21?? It just can't be! Thanks again for the laughs. You are one in a million, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteBeth, I always rather liked CHuck Norris, too. There are some really funny CN memes around - well worth looking up for a laugh.
DeleteAnd time sure does fly. One of my nieces - the first infant I ever held, in 2002, just turned 15! And has a boyfriend. Ugh.
So glad I could share a laugh with you, my friend.
I so enjoyed this! One of my sons has CAPD (Central Auditory Processing Disorder). With background noise, he hears one out of 3 words correctly. They say it can be heredity - and we "hear" things the same (BTW - we can hear the flea on the tick singing - but that's neither here nor there). So, as you can tell, I doubly enjoyed here mis-hearing! Yours is so much funnier than ours, though!
ReplyDeleteI had students with CAPD, and they were really challenged in auditorium settings. I wrote out smooth copies of class notes for them.
DeleteSo glad I could give you a smile!
Okay, I'm sitting in a coffee shop (internet is down at home), and I'm holding in my laughter so the patrons around me don't think I've gone crazy. Andrew, you made me smile big. You're fortunate to have a patient wife. ;) Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDeleteI'm continuing to pray for you guys.
Jeanne, you're so right, that I'm lucky to have someone as patient as Barb. She's a gem.
DeleteSo glad you enjoyed this, and thank you, always, for the prayers.
Ha Ha!!
ReplyDeleteGlad you enjoyed this, Jan!
DeleteOh, Andrew, thanks so much for the laughter. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're very welcome, Lori. I'm glad you enjoyed this!
DeleteAwesome!! Love the FUN PUNs!! My husband is hard of hearing, too, and comes up with some words that make me laugh, too!! Just remember, laughter IS the best medicine!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs today!!