Sunday, February 5, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 268 - Lessons From The Super Bowl

I'm not a big football fan; I learned to watch it because Barbara really enjoys the game, and I'm glad I did, because the stunning come-from-behind win of the New England Patriots has some valuable takeaways for caregivers and patients alike.

At one point in the first half, that Atlanta Falcons led by 25 points...and never had a winning SUper Bowl team come from more than a ten-point deficit.

But Tom Brady, the Patriots' quarterback, led his team to a tie in regulation time, and a win in overtime.

How did he do it?

  • He didn't accept the odds as holy writ - the immense lead the Falcons had was an obstacle, and a big one, to overcome, but he saw a path by which it could be overcome.
  • He played the Patriots' own game - every team has its own strengths and weaknesses, and he played to the patriots' strengths. He didn't try to adapt on the fly, and change the game they had developed together
  • He didn't get desperate - the Patriots moved the ball upfield to successive touchdowns through solid plays, unspectacular in themselves but absolutely tunning in their overall effect. He didn't go for 'Hail Mary' passes to score quickly; he used the time on the clock to develop a strategic, and winning, position.
  • Neither he nor anyone on the team ever gave up, or slacked off from giving their best.
How can this help the caregiver and patient, in facing terminal illness?
  • Accept the diagnosis, but don't accept the prognosis. It's been said that someone who thinks he will die on a given day usually finds a way to make it happen.
  • Be yourself - don't think of other caregivers or patients as doing a 'better' job, don't compare. Play to your own strengths as individuals, and as a caregiver-patient team.
  • Don't grasp at far-fetched solutions - the preacher who offers his own unique miracle cures can do more harm than good if the cure doesn't take, and the apricot-pit cancer treatment that's hyped on the Internet can distract you from remedies that may really help. (This is what killed Steve McQueen at least months before his time.)
  • Don't give up. When there's a setback or a deterioration in condition, don't say, "I knew this was coming!" Giving voice to negativity reinforces despair, and the best weapon you have is hope.
What do you think? Are these valid conclusions? What might you add?

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!

And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

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18 comments:

  1. Andrew, these are really good points you have come up with. Who knew a Super Bowl game could inspire them! :) Thanks for sharing. Many blessings to you and Barb! May God also bring comfort.

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    1. Thanks so much, Gayl, for the comment and your good wishes!

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  2. Great comparison! You are definitely a wise guy - I mean man. ;-)

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    1. Thanks, Jan! Guy works quite well...as does DUDE! (As in, "Like yo, DUDE!")

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  3. Some really good thoughts to take away from this amazing win for the Patriots...I'm an "OK" football fan but not a "have to watch it" kind of fan. But, my husband "loves" Tom Brady and wanted to watch. He nearly gave up on them given the Falcons lead; but kept watching...I didn't really watch until halftime (I usually am more interested in the commercials; but didn't find them as good as some years, though a few were good!)...but we both saw it through 'til the very end...just as we will do with our journey as caregiver and care receiver!

    Thanks for your great insight and sharing them with us!! Continued prayers and hugs for you and Barb!

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing this viewing experience, Barbara. I watched on and off through the first half, skipped the halftime show, and then saw the end, and was very glad I did. Barb stayed the course through the whole thing.

      Glad I did. It was really inspiring.

      Thanks so much for the prayers! Hugs back from both of us.

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  4. I'm not a football fan at all! In fact, I wish they would delete football (especially pro football) from all of TV. These dudes are way over-paid and most of them are spoiled "Madonnas" So many of athletes expect to be above everyone else. They are mere men! I do like how you related the quarterback from the Pats to care-giving. However, I doubt he would EVER caregiver to anyone but his bank account. Wow do I sound cynical. Continued hugs and blessings Andrew!

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    1. Paula, Tom Brady actually dedicated the game and his performance to his mother, who's very ill with a condition he refused to specify. From all that I've heard he seems to be a loyal and devoted son. (Which is, perhaps, rare!)

      Thanks so much for the warm thoughts, Paula...hugs back! :)

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  5. Sunday's game was the first ever football game I've watched in its entirety. Can't say I understood most of it, but your takeaways are spot on.

    Thanks, Andrew ...

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    1. Linda, I'm still learning about it, too. I always pull Barb's leg by saying it's a sissy American form of rugby's which is a man's game.

      "No padding, no helmets!" I said
      Barb replied, thoughtfully, "Well, the latter explains a LOT about you..."

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  6. Great conclusions for the biggest come from behind win I've seen. I sat in disbelief since I honestly was feeling complacent after the first half. Thank you for your wisdom.

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    1. Mary, thank you for this. I haven't watched all that much football, but I'm sure glad I saw this game. It was an almost God-ordained lesson of persistence and hope.

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  7. And I thought Super Bowl was all about the wings!!! Love you brother and Barb!

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    1. Susan, I think God's hand was in this one, to encourage hope in hearts that despaired in their own lives. I've sure felt more optimistic in the days that have followed.

      Love you too! XOXOWaggyWaggyWOOF!

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  8. Andrew, your observations are spot on, from what I can tell. Holding onto hope. Not comparing ourselves to others. Be wise in your choice of treatment options. And not giving up. All excellent take-aways from that amazing Super Bowl game. And from living out life.

    Praying for you, friend.

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    1. Jeanne, thanks so much...it just seemed like God was sending a message here, and that it had to be written down, and more to the point, lived.

      I've honestly been more hopeful and positive since seeing that game.

      Thank you so much for the prayers!

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  9. These are awesome conclusions, Andrew!

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    1. Thanks so much, Anita. And thank you for stopping by!

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