Thursday, December 15, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 246 - Defiance, Despair, and Discipleship {FMF}

We're back with the Five Minute Friday group, a keyword-driven writing challenge hosted by the gracious and supremely talented Kate Motaung. Please visit to sample some really great writing.

This week's word is NOW.

If you've followed this blog for a while, you may have noticed that generally I'm defiant in the face of death. Sometimes you would have noticed despair; less often, I hope!

These are natural processes. Faced with the inevitability of passing from this life, one can naturally be expected to rail against 'the falling of night' and other times to despair. (And yes, they're part of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross's 'five stages of dying' paradigm.)

But now I'm a bit different.

It has, however, lately occurred to me that despair and defiance are really obverse sides of the same coin, yin and yang, action and reaction. Defiance is rooted in despair and can't exist without it.

In that way, it's a closed circle, one that affords no growth.

The one thing that can break the cycle is discipleship. That word is taken as a 'Christian thing', and to a large degree it is, but whatever your faith – and perhaps even in the lack of it - it can
afford you something of value.

For the Christian, discipleship is the following of the example and divinity of Jesus Christ. It's taking what He said to heart, living with His earthly life as an example and His promise of salvation as a grounding for action.

For the Zen Buddhist, discipleship is following the precepts of Gautama Buddha and Dogen Zenji, incorporating them into daily life and action.

For the Muslim, discipleship is found in living life in the way of the Prophet, with a hand to action and a mind focused on Allah.

For the Sikh disciple, the path is found in the lives of the ten Gurus, codified in the Guru Granth Sahib.

In short...discipleship is found in living; not living for oneself, but living a contextual life, rooted in and guided by belief in the validity of the teachings and faith one holds dear and true. Discipleship is a purposeful life with a purpose which takes one beyond one's own soul.

Defiance and despair are the path of the donkey at the mill-wheel, blinkered and hooded to walk his unending circular path.

Discipleship is the open road, the road with a destination. There may be delights found along the way, and there will assuredly be terrors. But the light of a purpose in living is the guide to one's steps and the illumination of action taken in the fidelity of belief.

Defiance and despair are the safety of the known. Discipleship is scary, because it can and will force your hand to play the cards you've been dealt for a cause.

And it's not your cause. It's one that will, when your steps falter, pick you up and carry you home.

Tonight's musical theme is provided by Soundgarden, with Live To Rise.





I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.


Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.

If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.







44 comments:

  1. "In short...discipleship is found in living; not living for oneself, but living a contextual life, rooted in and guided by belief in the validity of the teachings and faith one holds dear and true. Discipleship is a purposeful life with a purpose which takes one beyond one's own soul."

    I say, old chap, delighted jolly good post tonight. *puffs on a pipe* It speaks a bit like old Clive-you know, Lewis? What a writer, that one!
    And alliteration alley! Discipline and disciple must have a similar root word. To follow is to be disciplined, yes?

    Great viewpoint. You are getting brighter every week!
    Love,
    Tammy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tammy, thank you so much! Clive's probably my favourite writer, and your comment has me cock-a-hoop with delight!

      I do believe you're right, that there's a root connection between discipline and disciple. Great thought!

      I have indeed learned so much here at FMF...and much from you, my friend.

      Love back!

      Delete
  2. Andrew, I loved this! "Discipleship is the open road, the road with a destination. There may be delights found along the way, and there will assuredly be terrors. But the light of a purpose in living is the guide to one's steps and the illumination of action taken in the fidelity of belief. . . . And it's not your cause. It's one that will, when your steps falter, pick you up and carry you home."

    Yes and amen! Discipleship is risky and requires trust of the discipler by the one being discipled. I love how your eyes and your focus is often on others, and not so much on yourself, Andrew. Thank you for spurring me (and I trust all your readers) on to being more than we currently are, and living with a greater perspective of life outside our little circle. You continue to inspire me, friend.

    And, I'm praying for you, Barb, and the dogs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeanne, you have this exactly right...discipleship requires unconditional trust. That's excellent; thank you for adding this to the conversation!

      And thank you for the kind words and especially the prayer; they are truly appreciated.

      Delete
  3. I never know exactly what to write in your comments box. But tonight I would say that my discipleship to Jesus gives me my purpose. Thank you for your words tonight.

    Hugs,
    Melinda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melinda, I truly appreciate your being here...and yes, the ultimate purpose is indeed discipleship to Jesus. Spot on!

      Hugs back!

      Delete
  4. I love the idea of giving yourself over to something bigger than you can control, having the courage and bravery to let it 'when your steps falter, pick you up and carry you home' - gave me shivers! I know that feeling of being trapped in the cycle of despair and defiance and I hope to never revisit that again...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Emma, thank you so much for this, for sharing that you've 'been there' too. I lived in that cycle for far too long, and I agree...I never want to go back.

      I so appreciate your stopping by!

      Delete
  5. Listening to your song, reading your words, and thankful for your perspective on FMF. Thanks for being "defiant dude!" We women need more men to come alongside us and bravely write about being Christian and cool. I like the music. We are rocking out to Transiberian Orchestra at our house most days in prep for a concert on Saturday. We adopted a dog this week! Our first! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day! Jenn FMF

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, you gave me a big smile here! Thank you! So glad you like Soundgarden...and I dig the TransSiberian Orchestra.

      What kind of dog did you adopt? We wish you the very best for Christmas and New Year's!

      Delete
  6. That was deep. And, my brain doesn't run deep. But I will say this, I am very happy that you are still with us in the now. xo ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan, thanks...I'm happy to still be here too!

      XOXOXO WaggyWaggyWOOF!

      Delete
  7. Discipleship requires movement--what a thought. All too often we think it's just sitting around with our Bibles trying to think pure thoughts. Instead, it's a pushing, prodding process that keeps us from dispair. I love your take!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anita, thank you! I used to think it was the 'sitting around being GOOD', and only recently did I realize that it's really a long, drawn-out birthing process...if it' OK for a dude to make that comparison.

      Thanks so much for being here!

      Delete
  8. Very strong and powerful words. Words I need to ponder. I find myself, often, wanting to just give into the despair. Because that is easier! It is much harder to work towards discipleship. But the rewards have to be amazing. Hugs, Andrew. And wishing you a pleasant day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paula, I sure understand you...I can easily fall into a kind of mindless defiance, and it's just a short way from there to despair since they're eternally linked. Discipleship is so much harder...but so much better.

      Hugs back, and I hope your day has been marvelous.

      Delete
  9. This was powerful: "Discipleship is scary, because it can and will force your hand to play the cards you've been dealt for a cause." I can so relate, Andrew. But it's in these times that I have to keep reminding myself, usually out loud so my ears can hear it over the noise in my heart, that God is Always Good!
    Im so glad to see you here this week (although I think it's time for a Christmas Carol, don't you? 😉)
    Merry Christmas to you and Barb and the dogs! ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shauna, I have to do the same thing...remind myself (sometimes with Post-It notes) that God Is Always Good.

      I'm kind of glad to be here too. It's been a rough week, and I didn't know that I'd be here. And yeah, it is probably tie for carols!

      Merry Christmas to you and your, from all of us!

      Delete
  10. You certainly practice what you preach. I hope you have a great Christmas and I won't stop praying for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jan, thanks so much. I wish you the best of Christmases, and very, very much appreciate the prayers.

      Delete
  11. I love your reflections here! I agree, the only way out of the cycle of defiance and despair is finding a purpose that takes us beyond ourselves. And discipleship is definitely scary but it is a much better way to live.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Lesley! Breaking free from the despair/defiance cycle is hard, partially - I think - because it becomes a comfortable (and maybe culturally endorsed?) habit. Being a disciple means we step out of the 'social stream', and follow a different path. One that leads to a truly worthwhile destination.

      Thanks so much for being here!

      Delete
  12. Andrew, such a good post. Discipleship is never easy, comfortable, or desirable. Yet without it, we would never change nor fulfill our purpose in this life - to reflect the very One who disciples us. Thankfully, we can trust the One who disciples us for His intentions towards us are always in love and for our good. May you have a blessed Christmas & know that I have prayed for you tonight.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Joanne. You're absolutely right, that the absolute trust we have in Him is a reflection of the pure goodness of His intention, and His love.

      I hope you have a wonderful Christmas as well...and thank you so much for the prayers!

      Delete
  13. WOW! SO much to chew on there. Bless you for the time and the care you have taken to make your journey count. Merry Christmas, Andrew. You are certainly another year closer to Jesus!

    Leigh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leigh, thank you so much! And yes, it's definitely another year closer to Him...and that is a happy thought.

      I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

      Delete
  14. Hey thank God for now! Now you are different. Now I see, Now I believe. Now I get it. And life is a process and we are always living in a now moment. Discipleship is taking the next step with God now! You are so encouraging and I love your now moments! They give me hope that I can grow from where I am now. I am #49.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, thank you for this. You've truly made my day, and that I can be an inspiration for you is just overwhelming.

      Again, thank you!

      Delete
  15. You, brother Andrew, are a faithful disciple. So glad you are here and still living friend. I'm over in the 60 spot this week.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tara, thank you so much! I'm glad to still be here, too.

      Wishing you a wonderful Christmas!

      Delete
  16. If not for a God Who is BIGGER than defiance and despair, it would be easy for me to give in to those things. But my faith in Him, and the love and grace He shows to me daily, makes anything I go through in this life sooooo much easier. Thank you for your post today. First time visitor, via Barbie Swihart's blog after reading her FMF post. Blessings to you and yours, Andrew! I'll be back to visit again. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Diana, I am so glad you're here. You've added something vital to the conversation...that God is bigger than defiance and despair. That's just right, just perfect.

      God bless!

      Delete
  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This Andrew: "Defiance and despair are the safety of the known. Discipleship is scary, because it can and will force your hand to play the cards you've been dealt for a cause."

    Discipleship is also scary because we never know where the Lord will send us, when we submit to his perfect will. He will send some through horrible physical pain, and others through spiritual pain and others yet through emotional pain to draw us close to him. And while it's difficult to face the pain, it's beautiful to learn from the Master. God bless you my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christy, you're so right...we're to know where we'll be sent (and look at the Apostles' example!) but we have the beautiful opportunity to learn from Him...and if we fall, He will be there.

      Praying for you, my friend. I loved your post this week!

      Delete
  19. Well, it has all been said! Once again Andrew... your words here are a gift.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tondra, your words are a gift to me. Thank you so much!

      Delete
  20. Oh this: "discipleship is found in living; not living for oneself, but living a contextual life, rooted in and guided by belief in the validity of the teachings and faith one holds dear and true" is what we see you doing with every breath you take! I love how your thoughts have taken you to deep places this week, but what I love most of all is how you reveal such a zest for living, giving and loving right in the midst of such searing pain and as you look death in the face time and again. Andrew, not only are you a precious gift to the FMF community, you are a great inspiration to us all. I'm grateful for you and your indomitable spirit. Keep on keeping on, brother! With deepest respect and admiration, sisterly love across the pond, gentle virtual hugs and continual prayers. May you be blessed, like you bless and refresh others, my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joy, you've touched me deeply with this wonderful, loving and grace-filled comment. Thank you so much1

      I do love life, even in the face of a night, last night, that was indescribably unpleasant. I still wanted to see the dawn, and the graces and blessings that the day would bring...and much of this I owe to the FMF community.

      Thank you so much for the hugs, and the prayers. They are so very, very precious.

      Delete
  21. "Defiance is rooted in despair and can't exist without it." I had never thought of it that way before, but you are absolutely right. And this "Discipleship is the open road, the road with a destination." and this " Discipleship is scary, because it can and will force your hand to play the cards you've been dealt for a cause." So then whereas despair and defiance are circular bc they feed off each other, but discipleship is the way out. Andrew, what profound things you've shared in this post. Thank you! May God bless, comfort and even heal if He so chooses. Thank you for taking the way of discipleship and inspiring us all! Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gayl, thank you so much. The relationship that defiance and despair are doppelgangers came as something of a revelation to me...I had thought that to be defiant was to be 'tough'. Setting that aside and admitting that following the Teacher was the stronger way was not easy.

      I'm so grateful for your comment, Gayl. Your words and presence here are a treasure.

      Delete
  22. "Defiance and despair are the safety of the known. Discipleship is scary, because it can and will force your hand to play the cards you've been dealt for a cause."

    The safety of the known—even a painful known keeps so many people trapped. But the unknown, with all of it's risks, can provide a freedom to live. When I have been trapped in despair, it has been because I didn't know I could choose to live differently. And when I did, I started to live.

    Prayers for you and Barbara as you face the open road.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheryl, I love what you say here..."When I have been trapped in despair, it is because I didn't know I could choose to live differently. And when I did, I started to live."

      Yes! Exactly that! The defiance/despair cycle is truly a retreat from life, a safe if unpleasant harbour in which our ships of the soul can become barnacle-encrusted for lack of use.

      And the clean, frightening open sea beckons. We may not reach the far shore on our own, but we can be assured that strong Arms will buoy us across the deeps.

      And thank you so much for the prayers; they are very appreciated, an this weekend, needed.

      Delete
  23. "Discipleship is the open road, the road with a destination." <-- Oh I love that! Great insight and wisdom, friend! Oh how we want a path that is open to growth! Praying for you... and so thankful for you, too!

    ReplyDelete