Thursday, November 24, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 237 - No Surrender

Back with Five Minute Friday, the keyword-driven writing challenge hosted by Kate Motaung.

The work this week is SURRENDER.

Surrender is not something I was ever taught, and it's a bit late to start now. One simply fights to the end, and one does not carry a white flag.

I know that I am supposed to surrender myself to God, to park my rebel soul and hand over everything to Him. To lean into His embrace.

The problem is, I can't. Maybe I am being self-aggrandizing, but a lifetime of fighting has left no edges that might be prised up, no opening to put down the weapons of the hand and soul.

I am solid, and harder than death. I will meet the Reaper, and his scythe will break on me.

It's really pretty stupid of me, but it's the way I was made. A thousand may fall at my left hand, ten thousand at my right, but I'm going to keep fighting, last man standing.

There isn't anything else I can do. It's the way I was made - perhaps the way God made me, or maybe what it pleased me to make myself - and to do otherwise would be a lie.

I suspect God would prefer not to meet a liar.

So the fight goes on, to the death. I know I'm doomed, but I'll finish this thing the same way I started it.

No surrender, not now, not ever, and God's going to just have to deal with it.

And when I walk through the Pearly Gates and take my first steps on the Streets of Gold, there's going to be a hush from the attending angels and saints, and God Himself will forbear to meet my eye.

Thus, the Homecoming of a man who never gave up.

And here's the musical theme...



Much to my surprise, I decided to participate in a '31 Days' blogging exercise; rather than interrupt the flow of this post, I have another blog established, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Ariel Sharon) and a short commentary.

And now that October's over...I'm going to keep it going.  I hope you'll join me.

Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.

If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.







26 comments:

  1. Thankful for you dear brother! I hope you had an ok day today (I realize good is relative these days) I'm over in the 5 parking spot this week.

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    1. Tara, thanks so much! it was an OK day, and while it's relative...it was still worthwhile.

      Loved your post this week!

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  2. Andrew you forgot one. "You've got to fight for your right to Par-ty!!!!"
    Here's your video!
    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ2hJezvd2I
    Rest well,warrior.
    And Happy Thanksgiving to you, Barbara, and the pups!
    Love,
    Tammy

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    1. Love that, Tammy, thanks!

      We did have a good Thanksgiving, and hope you did too.

      Love back!

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  3. There is a time to surrender, but there is certainly a time to fight too. And fighting for life and for more days and to keep persevering is a fight that is good and worth it. I've only been reading your blog for a short time, but I can see that you are fighting to persevere in the midst of very challenging circumstances.

    I am praying for you and for your wife tonight. May God bless you and keep you and make His face shine upon you.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Grace and peace,
    Rachel

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    1. Rachel, thank you for this. Your words, coming from your unique perspective, are a blessing to me.

      You are in my daily prayers as well. I hope you had a lovely Thanksgiving!

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  4. Your pen is mighty, and your will contagious. I need to learn from your tenacity and perseverance again this week! Thank you for never giving up :)

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    1. Emma, thank you so much. This means a lot to me.

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  5. It reminds me of something I heard awhile ago- "The horse that gives you the hardest time is the one you'll get the most out of." Blessings to you! Stopping by from FMF.

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    1. Leigh, thank you! I never heard that expression, but I will put it up on the refrigerator.

      God bless!

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  6. Andrew, maybe your lack of surrender is really a surrender! Maybe that's exactly what God is asking you to do, not give up!! Muse on that my friend! I am "#37 on FMF.

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    1. Mary, I think you may be right; I see what I'm doing as duty and obedience, and perhaps in the end this is also surrender'...though the word sticks in my throat!

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  7. Perfect music for this! I understand your not wanting to surrender. And until you do want to you don't have to! Hugs are sent your way today.

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    1. Paula, you gave me a BIG smile...thank you for this!

      And thank you for the hugs. Hard day, and I need them.

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  8. Pardon me for seeing it differently. I think what you are talking about is two different types of surrender. In my way of thinking, surrender to God is a victorious act that requires great strength, great courage, and great trust. It's saying I'm all in. We're doing this thing called life together, and I'm doing it for You because I have great respect and love for You. It's not giving up, it's giving to, although by giving to you are giving up self-centered thinking. That sounds a little preachy and I don't mean it as such. I could go on and on about this and list a few disagreements, but maybe that is insulting. I believe we show surrender every time we say, God, what would you have me to do? How can I help so and so. It's saying, not my will but Thine be done. And that's a good thing.
    And, true, there is no surrender in the other 'way' of surrender.
    Provocative post, Andrew. It made me think. Bless you.

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    1. Norma, you've got an excellent point; there's a dichotomy I didn't see when I wrote this. To wit, my interpretation of what I'm doing is 'acceptance of duty'; I am here for a reason, and will carry out the task the Almighty has given me unto death.

      That could be interpreted as 'surrender to God's will'; I just have a few huge problems with the s-word, and that undoubtedly colours my thinking.

      Thanks so much for being here, and for your comment, my friend!

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  9. This is refreshingly open and honest! I try to surrender my will, but then fight for control at times. Family relationships are my special "never surrender" moments. My entire family is like that.
    (I'm back-reading this week's FMF, for inspiration, tbh)

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    1. Red, thank you so much! I'm in a somewhat similar position - I accept the dire circumstances of life and health, and try to do the duty I see I have been given. But in the end I work the way men who were subordinate to me were allowed to work - on my own hook. Cut the orders, and let the chaps at the sharp end get on with the job.

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  10. Andrew, it's been a while since I visited, but I am overcome with awe as I see how amazingly strong you are on the inside, in mind and spirit if not in body. Courage wears many faces, not all easily recognisable by the world. And I think God is smiling big time at you because He made your character tough and resilient and expects no less from you in this battle you are in. Maybe one person's "surrender" is another's stoical "getting on with it", a surrender to the God-given courage instilled within. You are fighting hard and fighting long, but oh my what strength you are exhibiting to a watching world! I know there must be days where you feel like crawling into a corner and be done with it. Yet something (Someone??) is keeping you motivated and steely in your will to survive. God bless you, friend. You remain in my thoughts and prayers, even if I rarely stop by.

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    1. Joy, it's so good to see you! Thank you so much for this lovely, grace-filled comment. I truly appreciate it.

      Honestly, there really aren't days that I want to hide away from it all. I was bred to fight; I WANT to keep fighting. There's a kind of detached interest in this - how much can I take? The answer thus far is...more.

      I truly appreciate the prayers; you are and have been in mine as well.

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  11. Surrender doesn't mean quitting or giving up. It means giving the authority to someone else. In the military you always surrendered your wishes to those of your commanding officer, and now your commanding officer is Jesus.

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    1. Jan, you're exactly right. After writing this post, I realized that 'obedience to orders', which I gladly accept in this situation, is really synonymous with the concept of 'surrender'...but UGH, that s-word!

      Thanks so much for being here.

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  12. I agree with +Janet Ann Collins.

    On the other hand, you've heard the expression, "You want to hear God laugh? Tell him your plans." You do not have to "just quit". You do however, have to accept what God has planned for you.

    Just my 2 cents. Thanks for sharing of yourself Andrew.

    Find me here: A Wife's Reflections

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    1. Kimberly, you're absolutely right. I do have to accept God's plan, and it's only on reflection that I've realized that this can be taken as equivalent to a surrender to His will. But I've always been rather a slow study!

      I truly appreciate your being here.

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  13. Stubborn obedience to God is both surrender and no surrender. You must have some semblance of surrender to God because you plan on the hope of heaven, but your fight to live may be a reflection of stubborn obedience rather than no surrender. Just maybe.
    I'm always glad to come visit you from FMF. I hope you are finding grace and strength sufficient for the day.

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