Thursday, November 17, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 234 - Goodbye Bitterness {FMF}

We're with Kate Motaung and the Five Minute Friday crew for this week's exercise in timed, keyword-driven writing.

The word this week is ENJOY.

When you're where I am, it seems that bitterness is expected.

I'll pull no punches in describing this - so please forgive. My days consist of interminable trips to the bathroom, to either throw up or worse, and I often don't quite make it. Laundry time! (And you've never seen a Heeler Meltdown like one who's been awake for 48 hours straight and has just been puked on...and knows a bath is coming. Not a pretty sight.)

The rest of it is pain (as I write this, beyond reasonable comprehension) and fatigue that makes one too tired to sleep.

They say I should be bitter, that I should cry out to God, and ask, WHY??????

But I don't, because, honestly, you can get used to anything, and I have found that the best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy.

And I am thankful for that. I'm going to enjoy life.



Much to my surprise, I decided to participate in a '31 Days' blogging exercise; rather than interrupt the flow of this post, I have another blog established, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Ariel Sharon) and a short commentary.

And now that October's over...I'm going to keep it going.  I hope you'll join me.

Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.

If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.







40 comments:

  1. Sorry you're feeling so badly Andrew. On a funny note, I have thrown up on my concerned dog more than once!! The look on their faces is priceless, especially when they realize they now need a bath to add insult to injury! Praying for you as always!! ((hugs)) <3

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    1. Marisa, thank you! And you're right - that look is just priceless. Poor Ladron's had more than one bath for that reason, and she HATES baths. She thinks it's undignified.

      For some reason for the last two weeks, when I tried to leave a comment on your blog, I get a message that comments are disabled. But I am reading you!

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  2. it is all choices isn't it Andrew, when feeling under the weather. Let it beat us, or fight back with triumph. :) Visiting from FMF #3

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    1. It is indeed a matter of choice Annette. Hope you are feeling better!

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  3. Andrew, I don't know how you do it. Each of your posts leaves me with a sense of hope. I love your words about the best parts of life being lived in those overlooked places between triumph and tragedy. Such a perspective, my friend.

    May we truly consider your words and seek to find ways to enjoy those spaces. Mundane, challenging, joy-filling (at times).

    I am truly sorry you're in pain. And I truly do thank you for showing up here. You've spoken straight to my heart tonight.

    I continue to pray for you, Barb, and the dogs.

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    1. Jeanne, thank you so much for this. You've truly made my day! And that my words can touch your heart, and the hearts of others...it makes all the pain worth bearing.

      We all so appreciate the prayers (and the dogs bark in joy!).

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  4. I know how much I struggle with the indignities of gastro or food poisoning which only lasts a few days at the most, but to have that as your reality is very confronting... and beyond that to be able to have the grace, wisdom and perspective to appreciate and enjoy life - truly great. Thank you for writing, for always seeking hope, and for being real through every painful moment.

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    1. Emma, thank you. Having it as a reality, but in a way nowhere near as hard as I thought it might be. Perhaps it's because the chiaroscuro of life becomes more apparent, and the joys can be savoured in their rarity?

      Thank you so much for being here!

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  5. I know your struggle from the other side. It is so hard to watch. So going through it must be hell!! But you are right to enjoy life! Right Here! Right Now! ( Loved the song. I've never heard it before) Hugs and prayers, Andrew!!

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    1. Paula, thanks...it is a kind of hell, but I rather think that watching it's harder. In the midst of things, I find that I'm glad it's happening to me, and not someone else. That's no small comfort.

      I am so glad you enjoyed the song - it was written in commemoration of the fall of the Berlin Wall. I always liked it.

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  6. It's true that we often can't choose our circumstances but we can choose our attitude and decide whether to be bitter or to be thankful. You inspire me by consistently making that choice in the midst of all you're going through. Continuing to pray for you.

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    1. Oh, Lesley, thank you so much for this! I so want to hold out a light of hope, even on the darkest days. It may sound arrogant, but this is the calling my life has prepared me for. A hard calling, to be sure, but I'd never wish it away.

      Thanks so much for being here.

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    1. I sure am, Susan. Even the worst moments have golden grace in them. XOXOXO WAGGY WAGGY WOOF!

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  8. It feels like when you share about your perspective, that you are making being alive not so much about you as you do about your thankfulness to your Maker for even being alive at all. And this is what I am reminded when I come here, it almost gives me an attitude adjustment to be honest. I thank you for that, friend. And may God give you Grace in abundance daily. +

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    1. Meg, yes...that's what I feel, that I'm grateful to the Almighty for this - for all of it. I would not trade this perspective back for my health. God's carried me so far! Who would want to miss that?

      Thanks so much for being here, my friend.

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  9. And we are enjoying it with you. Take care, my friend.

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    1. Norma, I'm so glad...thank you so much, my friend!

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  10. Love this: "I have found that the best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy." That's awesome! Such a good attitude adjustment. What does tragedy look like? What does triumph look like? And am i willing to LIVE in the meantime. Thanks, Andrew! Praying for you, my friend.

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    1. Shauna, thank you so much. The in-between moments of life may seem mundane, but what's mundane is really attitude...for they sparkle with almost blinding grace, if we care to see.

      I so appreciate your being here, and your prayers.

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  11. You are amazing! If there's ever a contest for the best hero you'll win, hands down. The most important things anyone can have are integrity, compassion, and common sense and you have all those with courage besides.

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    1. Jan...golly. All I can say is a big 'thank you'. I'm honoured, and humbled. And overwhelmed by your kind words. You giveme strength for the journey.

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  12. Amen! I have to remember that-best parts are between tragedy and triumph! Blessings Andrew! Stopping by from FMF

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    1. Leigh, thank you so much, and thank you for being ere today! I appreciate you.

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  13. I loved this line: " I have found that the best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy." I think we all could learn from those words. I'm over in the 47 spot this week.

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    1. Tara, thank you! It's been a hard lesson to learn, but one I would not have missed...and being able to communicate it makes the pain worthwhile.

      So grateful for your presence here!

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  14. "...the best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy." This really spoke to me, Andrew. If we all could remember to look in those overlooked spaces and live our lives as joyful as we can. You are such an inspiration. With all you have to deal with, you still find time to enjoy life. Oh, I can imagine the Heeler's tantrum. LOL Our two dogs are part heeler. Blessings to you and Barbara, dear Andrew!

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    1. Gayl, thank you so much. Enjoying life is an intentional process, reaffirmed every minute - it has to be, under the circumstances - but it's worth it.

      And yes, a Heeler Tantrum is something to behold. Ladron will go into an evolution called Spin Cycle, in which she barks and spins around so fast she's a blur...and then, dizzy, inevitably runs into something...which makes her even more cross. Best to just get out of the way.

      I really appreciate your being here.

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  15. Andrew, Amazing that we can get this even for a brief moment at a time! "The best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy." I find human emotion can be our worst enemy at times. It muddles our understanding of what life is. God is as much in the mundane as He is in the extreme. Oh if I could get a grasp of that truth on a continual basis. God bless you, my friend. The song just put your message to music! I am #60 on FMF.



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    1. Mary, you're absolutely right...emotion can really be our worst enemy. It colours our perception of life, and our perception of the Almighty.

      Thank you so much for this, and for being here!

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  16. Your words here are a gift... and all I can say is Thank you!!

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  17. This right here preaches: "I have found that the best parts of life are those lived in the overlooked spaces between triumph and tragedy." Amen. Keep fighting! Your words are a treasure to me.

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    1. Mary, thank you so much; your comment heartens me to keep going.

      I'm so glad you're here.

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  18. I hate that you continue to struggle in such horrible and demeaning ways, Andrew. But I suppose that "death" is a formidable opponent--though you seem to keep on getting back up even when you're knocked down for the count. I pray daily for you and hope that there will be more to "enjoy" in each day. Yes, I know I'm praying for a miracle too! ;-)

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    1. Beth, yes, Death is pretty intimidating. Had dry heaves so violent I thought well, that's going to be it.

      But God has me here for a reason. So, meanwhile, I will do my best.

      Thank you so much for the prayers! A miracle would be good about now.

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  19. I love your description of the 'best places of life'--all too often we only think about and focus on the momentous occasions, but those little, overlooked times are so important, too!

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    1. Anita, yes...sometimes the smallest bits and pieces are the ones we'll treasure the most. I know it has worked that way for me.

      I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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  20. Andrew - You have certainly caused me to rethink my "troubles" and "problems". Thanks for that my friend.

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    1. Paul, thanks so much. The road I've been on has certainly done that for me - and I would not trade back my perspective for my health. It's humanized me, and allowed me to truly begin learning to love, and to be loved.

      Thanks so much for being here. I hope you and Lori had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

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