Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 209 - Flickering

Again, I will have to ask your patience. I am very, very ill, and lucidity is flickering because of extreme and intractable pain.

I'm OK for a few minutes, but Barbara says I have been awfully confused and sometimes hallucinatory.

But even when I'm 'checked out', it seems I am still functioning. Nothing horrible has been done, nothing important undone, and for that I am grateful.

There is one thing to say - that even when one's very personhood feels like a light bulb that's nearing the end of its time, that time is still very important, perhaps more so than ever.

And it's important to be treated like the person I was and still am, and not like the symptom I sometimes become. I'm in very severe pain (well, got nausea too). That's all. There's nothing functionally wrong with my cognition

If I am to get through this - and I yet hope to - belief in who I was and may be again is the slim rope up which I must climb.

And I pray that no one will ever cut or untie it. to better categorize and pigeonhole me.

And today's musical inspiration comes from Toby Kieth...



Marley update...he's received a lot of support, but STILL NEEDS HELP TO BE SAVED.

WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!

He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.

If you have a mment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.












16 comments:

  1. Praying for you today friend. May you be strengthe

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    1. sorry... it cut me off! May you be strengthened by His grace and encouraged by those around you today! Love you to you friend!

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    2. Rachel, thank you so much for the prayers, and for being here! (And please excuse my late reply. It's been an awful week.)

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  2. Yes, being pigeonholed would be so easy for others to do at this time but the worst possible action as far as your concerned, Andrew. Everyone, in those dying moments, will want their legacy and personhood to stand far above any symptom or disease that is taking their life. We all see you as that person with a huge legacy, my friend. You have lived your life well and have made your death about helping others. What could be more important than that? Praying you feel comfort in this pain!

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    1. Beth, thank you for this...legacy is indeed hugely important. Far more than I would have thought a few years ago.

      Please pardon my late reply, and I am so grateful for your presence and prayers.

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  3. No weird labels, no stupid tags. And you simply refuse to be categorized, pal!

    We simply call you friend ...

    Praying for you, even as we speak.

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    1. Thanks so much, Linda. Your words and prayers mean the world to me tonight. (And please excuse my tardy response.)

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  4. Praying that your candle will continue to shine and shed light in the world.

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    1. Thanks, Jan. I'm trying to keep it lit. Hard days now. And please pardon the delay in responding.

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  5. It is always a welcome relief to know you are still here fighting your way through. I started a new short book yesterday, actually the revamp of an old idea, throwing out all that was previously written. I think it will be titled "Stepping Stones to Sacred Dwelling." I came up with 59 subjects that affect all of us in a spiritual way. This morning I wrote about suffering. While writing a page's worth, I thought of you and your suffering. I thought of me and my suffering which started when I was abandoned as a young mother. We suffer and then the suffering changes us. We learn to become strong, and we learn to lean into Jesus. We become more than we were before even though the hardship was not in our life plan. And then we come to the place of sharing our sufferings to strengthen the walk of others on this journey we call life. Thank you for writing today. Still praying.

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    1. I am so looking forward to that book, Norma, and I love the title. Your wisdom will illuminate its pages, and God's grace will see it into the hands that need it. Good on you!

      Thanks so much for the prayers, my friend, and please pardon the delayed response.

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  6. Praying with you and Barbara...for you: strength and healing and whatever you need to help you get through this! And for Barbara: strength, peace, and whatever she needs to help you get through this, and herself!

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    1. Barbara, thank you, from both of us...and please excuse my late reply.

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    1. Susan, I hated writing this. I hate what's happening, but only in acceptance and thrashing it out in words can I make some good come of it.

      And now I have to make good of something that hurts far worse.

      Please pardon the tardy reply.

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