Explaining 'how it feels' is hard, but here goes...imagine the worst flu you've ever had, that doesn't go away. The high fever is there every day.
Imagine being seasick, and that doesn't go away either.
And the runs...enough said.
Pain under the right side of the ribcage that makes you feel like you've been impaled. (Have you ever been impaled? You don't know what you've missed.)
It will make you turn 270 degrees to the right to be able to turn 90 degrees left, because you simply can't turn against it.
Of course, sometimes it just drops you. On carpet, or on dirt, or on cement. It really does not care.
Finally, the kind of fatigue that makes you want to just stop. And spend the rest of the day and evening in the most...well, the least painful position you can manage, with enough painkillers to put the Chinese Army into a state of perpetual bliss.
The teaching is that Jesus endured the worst pain of anyone who ever lived. Yes. I won't contest that, but I think I have come within spitting distance.
And this makes me realize, in understanding...I think...what He went through, that He is helping me carry this cross. because He gets it.
I don't have to bow meekly and shuffle away backwards, feeling that my problems ain't sh...uh, ain't nothing. They are sure as shootin' something.
And He is there, saying, "One more step, dude...let's do this."
"TOGETHER."
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Yes. Jesus gets you. He is carrying you when you can't take any steps. Rest in His grace. Blessings upon blessings.
ReplyDeleteMari-Anna, please forgive the delayed response...and yes, He is carrying me. And singing softly in my ear, "He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother".
DeleteThank you so much for being here!
Yes, yes. He gets it, Andrew. He weeps with you. He carries with you. For He knows what it is to carry a heavy, torturous cross. He knows what dying is all about.
ReplyDeletePraying for you and Barbara right now ...
Linda, yes...He does weep with me, and knowing that He is there, hurting as I hurt, means the world. I do not know how I would bear the days otherwise.
DeleteThank you so much for the prayers! (And please pardon the delay in responding.)
your understanding of the physical pain Christ went through is probably great tan ours andrew. praying for you today that you will be overwhelmed wit the love of Christ for you during this very trying season in your life. blessings.
ReplyDeleteMartha, thank you...I so appreciate the prayers!
DeleteIt's a trying season, yes...but a privilege to truly walk with Christ. It's not an experience I would trade away, even for a restoration of health.
Thank you so much for being here!
Andrew, Jesus surely understands your pain and He is surely helping you carry your cross. It is amazing to think of the many ways He encourages us to take one more step & then one more step and one more step... He will never leave you! Blessings!
ReplyDeleteJoanne, yes...He does stick around! And the small encouragements He gives are really the best ones of all. The 'one more step' makes such a difference now, far more than some huge 'victory' could.
DeleteI think of each small grace as a stone in a mosaic that He's placing with infinite care, that I will one day see in its completeness when I'm standing next to Him, to be in His presence forever.
Thank you so much for being here!
Together. That's such an important word. It's hard to even imagine, but I'm glad it's true. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteThe most important word in the language, Lisa...wherever two or more of you are gathered in My name...
DeleteI am so glad that you stopped by, and so appreciate the prayers!
And in your suffering, you also give words of life. You also never give up. You also depend on strength from Above. You also could not endure this torment without help from Father God. I have learned that the question is not, Why? The question is, What? You have acted on the what, by sharing your journey with us. You have demonstrated to this community that a person can continue to give, through raw courage and grace, through a deep desire to make it worth it in the end. I applaud your focus and resolve. God Speed. Still praying, N
ReplyDeleteNorma, thank you so much! And you said it beautifully...it's not Why. It's What. Just perfect.
DeleteI so appreciate the prayers, and ask you pardon for the delay in responding!
Yes, Andrew, Jesus is certainly doing this with you...He is walking with you as far as you can go, then He will carry you the rest of the way. He bore the cross for us; and He bears US when we cannot take even one more step.
ReplyDeleteYou share your heart and soul, Andrew, and you share your pain...the words are those you feel, and what opens your life to your readers...no, to your friends! You are loved and appreciated; and are in my thoughts and prayers as you travel this road.
{{HUGS}} to you and Barb...
Barbara, it's nice to be carried by Him. I'm so tired, and my feet really hurt...good to take a breather in His arms.
DeleteAnd in the extension of His arms, this community. Without you...all of you...I would be lost indeed.
And thank you so much for the hugs!
I'm so thankful you know Him, Andrew. I can only imagine what you're going through, and I certainly wouldn't want to go through it without the hope we have in Christ. I hate that you're suffering. I continue to pray for you and Barbara, and His will.
ReplyDeleteJune, going through this without Jesus would really, truly suck. I can't imagine it, and would not want to try.
DeleteThis has answered the eternal question of "What Is Life About?"
The answer is simply...Jesus Christ. Pretty simple, and He covers it all.
Thank you so much for your prayers; we really appreciate them.
Yes! He gets you. And He's got you. Prayers, my friend!
ReplyDeleteHe has me indeed, Carol...and thank you so much for the prayers. They are like oxygen to me.
DeleteI'm pulling for you, Andrew...keep on fighting if that's what you wish. :-)
ReplyDeleteLynette
I was born to the fight, Lynette. I'll never quit. On a way it's kind of interesting to step outside myself..."Just how much can the dude take?"
DeleteThe answer is always, More.
Thank you so much for being here!
We continue to hold you and Barbara in our prayers.
ReplyDeletePaul, thank you so much...the prayers are both appreciated and needed.
DeleteAndrew, I'm continuing to pray for you. I can't imagine the pain you're enduring every moment of every day. But, Jesus does get it. To know that and to walk with that knowledge . . . I'm praying His comfort for you as you endure each moment.
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to inspire.
Jeanne, thank YOU! Your support, and your writing on your blog, are a large part of why I am still here, and still have hope. There have been days when it's been too dark to see Christ...and you've turned on the floodlights.
DeleteI am so grateful!
I can't really be sad about it anymore, I'm guessing you aren't either. In November you got me to sad. I thought it was over. It's March 22 and you still have life.
ReplyDeleteSo here's some humor today.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
"He's not dead yet."
Hopefully you are familiar with the skit.
Jesus knows exactly what we need and when we need it. What we want isn't always on the menu. Oh I wish there were some other way for you to so adequately express His love and faithfulness and purpose. Truly.
I felt a 10th of your pain last month. Just the worst flu I'd ever had. I prayed for you in my pain.
This is Christ in us-causing the wretched to look out from themselves and to love others who are also wretched and pained and hopeless.
But you have Hope anchoring your soul Andrew. You are not drifting without purpose. You are loved.
Shalom, and may you know the Ahava poured upon you!
-Tammy
You're right, Tammy, not sad at all. And Monty Python is perfect!
DeleteTo add to everything, I had the flu as we;;...and a relapse this week. Fever is, as I write this, 104.8. Or it was and hour ago; the thermometer stopped working. My eyeballs feel like charcoal in a grill! (B had the flu, too...and someone in her office has been hospitalized with it.)
The knowledge that I am loved keeps me going, Tammy. All else, reputation and accomplishment...they can blow away on the wind. Love lasts.
So grateful for you!
Tammy sure doesn't pull any punches, does she Andrew!!! I love that girl. Your post? So full. I love you and Barb. As do so many others. Don't take this wrong - because I for one look for that dog every single week once or twice in the linkups - but Jesus knew when to say IT IS FINISHED. That is all I'm saying. Selah. xoxoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSusan, yes...I do understand. Jesus knows when to ring down the curtain on the last act. But will He limit the curtain calls I take???
DeleteAnd Tammy...oh, she's a tonic, a gift!
As are you, my friend. More than you may know, and far more than I can say.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo and so forth...back to you!