We're back with another Five Minute Friday, hosted by the illustrious and delightful Kate Motaung. Please click on the link to see what real writers write!
We are also linked with The Weekend Brew. And we're linked to Messy Marriage's Wedded Wednesday...drop by for some excellent marriage resources!
Today, the keyword for five minutes of extemporaneous writing is...wait for it...TEN.
Huh? Yeah, and I did a double take, too. But, well, ten it is, and here we go...
In April of 1945, the United States had finally invaded the Japanese home islands...Okinawa, in the Ryukus, south of Japan proper. Okinawa was the bloodiest and most savage battle of the Pacific War, and it featured - if that's the right word - the last sortie of the Japanese fleet, a pitiful remnant built around the battleship Yamato, which was (along with sister ship Musashi) the largest battleship in the world. Ever.
The name was Operation Ten-Go, sometimes translated as Heaven One. Fitting, because it was a suicide mission - if Yamato reached Okinawa, she would be beached and used as a static fort.
But that never happened. Yamato's departure for the south was noted, and she was met by an aerial avalanche of American airpower, and summarily sunk.
What does this have to do with dealing with a dying spouse? Sometimes quite a bit, as it turns out.
We all leave things undone in life, but we expect that most of the loose ends will be wrapped up by the time we die at a venerable old age...and those that aren't will have been filed away by the passage of time.
These include things we'd like to do (the 'bucket list' stuff), relationships we'd like to mend, and sometimes getting square with God.
But when your mate's faced with a terminal diagnosis, these things go from 'someday' to 'NOW'.
And in many cases, you'll have to help, even if it's killing your husband or wife to accomplish this last great mission in life.
You'll want them to conserve their energy, to rest, to live within their physical means...but in dealing with the important stuff, you have to ask yourself...for what?
The diagnosis isn't going to change if they rest, and the appointment with the undertaker won't be put off for long.
But when you help, when you arm them and support them foir that last fight, you can give those final weeks or months a touch of glory.
You can help them to go out...for they are surely going out...with honour intact.
And that's why Japanese sailors fought for a place on Ten-Go.
Losing was death, in the calculus of Bushido.
They wanted to die gloriously.
So do I.
Endex.
Midnight postscript...please leave a comment, if you have a minute. I'm on the ropes. I need your prayers.
Wow, so much history and application here! I didn't know most of that.
ReplyDeleteHow fitting for me to read of the dying spouse when just today our friend lost his wife in her battle with cancer. He was figuring out how to do it too. He read a lot of Psalms and posted a lot about the Shepherd during that time. And today, his words were, "She has finished her journey here just a bit speedier than the rest of us, for we must all join our Father someday". Such grace and faith.
Thank you for your post today on #FMF, I'm your neighbor!
Oh, Ruthie, I am so sorry for your friend's loss! His words that you quoted are just beautiful. I hope that my faith, and that of my wife, is that strong.
DeleteThank you for being here!
Andrew, thank you for the reminder to keep the main thing the main thing, especially when a spouse is dying. Dying with honoUr intact. Helping them finish their race well, even when it's painful to watch and support them. You have such wisdom my friend. And, I continue to pray for you and Barb. Every day and night.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jeanne, for the kind thoughts, lovely words, and uplifting prayers. Writing is getting a bit tough, pain making focus hard, but my friends make it worthwhile, something I would not miss for the world.
DeleteOh Andrew I want you to die gloriously too. Continuing to lift you and your family up in prayer. I'm reminded of this verse from Romans "Whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lords." I'm parked in the #ten spot this week.
ReplyDeleteI love that verse from Romans. Thank you for bringing it here today...and for the prayers. I feel them, and believe me, as I write this...they are needed. I'm hurting.
DeleteThank you for that beautiful prayer, Marie. I have two dogs holding me upright so I can type. Wish I could post a picture.
ReplyDeleteIt hurts to be here right now but it's worth it.
Thank you so much for being here. Words can't express how much it means right now.
Praying. Jonah's words seem to help - resonating with the courageous and turbulent sea-faring words you write here. 'I sank beneath the waves... but you, O LORD, snatched me from the jaws of death... Salvation comes from the Lord alone.' https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=jonah+2&version=NLT
ReplyDeleteReally cool tie-in, Ruth! Thanks!
DeleteAnd I appreciate the prayers. They are valued, and very much needed over the past 24 hours.
another amazing post. lifting you up to the Father may He meet all your needs, bless you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Denise. Indeed He does meet all needs, if only to give the ability to take the next step, without looking beyond that.
DeleteThank you for being here today.
Father, we thank you for the life of Andrew. For the lives he has touched, even through his pain and suffering. We thank you for not wasting one precious minute of our lives here and for always showing yourself true and faithful and good in every trial. We beg you to relieve Andrew's pain. We beg you for the miracle of healing. We know that you will indeed heal him, whether it is here or over There. And we know you will help him end well, either way. We look forward to the day when we are all united with Jesus where there is no pain and no sorrow. Come Lord Jesus! Amen.
ReplyDeleteHolly, thank you for the lovely prayer - it's so filled with and illuminated by your heart of faith, your heart for God!
DeleteAndrew, my friend (50/male) has just opted on #4 "do nothing" in his year+ battle with colon cancer. Nothing was working. He's going to choose quality of life (without chemo/etc) and leave the rest to God and dietary changes - he has 3 children under the age of 8, 2 older than 18. He wants to enjoy his kids and shoot hoops with his only son. Yesterday he posted a video on FB explaining why he chose option 4. It was a good testimony. At the end he said this, "We are all terminal." How true that is. None of us are promised this afternoon or tomorrow. Your battle is different as you daily suffer the pain of disease.I'm terminal too and one sweet day we will look back and say something like "that for THIS" as we gaze upon His face. Prayers, brother and immense amounts of love and grace.
ReplyDeleteOh, Susan, my heart goes out to your friend. I can understand the decision to step back from treatment, though it must give him days that are very, very bittersweet. I will pray for him.
DeleteAnd thank you so much for the prayers; much appreciated, and much needed.
Andrew,
ReplyDeletedue to the delightful conditions of Google and posting, all that I put here last night was lost with the click of the "publish" button. It did not see me as signed in on my phone.
It was funny.
I feel like the class clown among all these compassionate comments, wanting to offer comfort, but more so, I want to bring joy and laughter to you. You have done so for me with almost every comment.
I could picture your two dogs and the use of bludgeon? Delightful. Please know I did pray for you deeply when I checked in at 11pm Pacific. And have been praying this morning.
For some reason, your comment of the dogs holding you up and sending a picture caused me to think of Yul Brenner dressed as Pharaoh in "The Ten Commandments". So I pictured you with a brooding look, not actually Pharaoh opposing God's will, but more of that admirable stubborn, "I'm not going to let you beat me, pain!" sort of way. "So let it be written, so let it be done."
:D
If you don't hurt too badly to watch a great film, we just watched "The Railway Man" on Netflix. It was well done and ties in to your post...it centers on a European who was a POW for a time in Japanese hands....I can't give anything away. You will like the endex. Glorious. :)
~Tammy
And thanks as always for looking for my post. I am touched that you were up late enough to read it and that the music spoke to you. You and your wife are definitely Tens!
Tammy, thank you! I have had the same experience with Blogger. Made me want to use bad language, but I didn't. I did use very harsh GOOD language.
DeleteLove the Yul Brynner tie-in...he's a favorite of mine, and he makes a great Pharoah.
I'll look for "The Railway Man"; interesting coincidence, I just watched "Bridge on the River Kwai" for the first time in several years (and the first time I ever saw a restored version. Loved this observation, by the Japanese camp commandant on British character -
You are defeated, but have no shame. You are stubborn, but have no pride. You endure, but have no courage.
Thank you so much for your prayers. They are very, very important to me. Without prayer support I would not be able to keep going.
Andrew, you're an inspiration to lots of us. We want to keep you as long as possible. And when any of us step into eternity, which is completely outside the dimensions of time and space, the time of suffering we've experienced here will seem like a snap of fingers.
ReplyDeleteJanet, thank you - I want to stay here for as long as I can, too. There's always one more good thing you can do, even if it's only a smile when people around you expect tears.
DeleteWhen I cross over, ye, the pain will be gone, like a forgotten page in a closed book. But how I live with it now will determine who I am then, as C.S. Lewis might say.
I hope to do well.
Coming to you today from The Weekend Brew to thank you for teaching us through your words. I am praying for each moment of each day to not only honor God but your spouse. May God's strength fill you and keep you. Blessings!
ReplyDeleteMary, thank you so much! I really, really appreciate the prayers. They keep my chin up...and sometimes give me the strength, literally, to remain standing.
DeleteAndrew - I feel I've gotten to know you a bit the last few months. I hope to connect with you this fall, if you're stubborn enough! I am impressed with your wisdom and knowledge - and your vocabulary.
ReplyDeletePraying you are able to do what you want to do, and die gloriously when the time comes. Your death will be a loss for many, including many who will never see you fact to face.
I intend to be here in the Fall. Stubborn is my middle name - years ago, a chap from another culture, in another language, on another continent said that the Cape buffalo was my 'spirit guide', but that no buff could match me when it came to stubborn!
DeleteThank you so much for the lovely prayer. That means a lot, and will go up on the refrigerator!
Great post as always, Andrew! So much to think about, sort through, give, save...whatever! Thanks for sharing your views, for they apply to all of us at some time or another!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Barbara! And thank you for being here - your comments are manna. I appreciate them - and you.
DeleteI think you have worked hard and will most certainly go out with glory and honor, Andrew. You've provided us week after week with much food-for-thought on the issue of sickness/terminal sickness in marriage. Not many can speak into that, nor do it with as much grace and humility as you have, my friend. Thanks for always being an open book.
ReplyDelete