Today's word is leave.
GO.
A man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home, they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one...and there is love...
Remember the song? If not, remember the Bible?
We have to leave our past, and the ties holding us, to arrive at the place we're supposed to be in our marriage.
The ties don;t want to be cut. It seems like they can be maintained, in a sort of compromise...where there's the major portion of your heart for the marriage, but there's a bit left over for the things that supported you and comforted you in the past.
No.
Marriage is a sacrament, which means that it's a model of our relationship with God.
And God wants everything. He's not satisfied with a part of our fidelity. He wants it all, not because he's unreasonable, but because He knows you have to make that commitment to become a citizen of Heaven, and to be buds with the Big Dude.
Same thing with marriage, To be the husband or wife you're supposed to be, the commitment has to be total. Nothing else will do, because it'll end up like an unpainted part of a steel-bodied car.
It's going to rust.
And it's going to be compromised in strength, and can eventually fail.
STOP
If you have the chance, please stop by my other blog, "Starting The Day With Grace", at www.dailygracequote.wordpress.com.
You make a really great point here. I'm forever grateful that when we got married, we moved 1200 miles away from either of our families--it made leaving so much easier!
ReplyDeleteI think that's a very important thing - to create physical distance. One of the worst things that can happen to any marriage, especially early, are family-drop-ins.
DeleteIt's often a way to keep the 'kids' in the family orbit, and stunts a marriage quicker than almost anything else.
Thanks for stopping by!
This can be a hard negotiation, yes, Andrew? Some in-laws don't know how to let go.
ReplyDeleteI try not to be one of the obnoxious ones ... I guess my sons-in-law would have to weigh in!
It's very hard to negotiate, because so often the desire from closeness comes from a good heart.
DeleteI rather think you're one of the good 'ums, because you're aware of the issues.
Wow, Andrew. What an amazing post for five minutes. :) Profound, actually.
DeleteCommitment in marriage must be complete--choosing each other in everything over the family. Having the trust in each other that you'll do it? A necessity. I've lived it (in the good sense).
When hubby and I went through pre-marital counseling, one thing we each had to do was write a letter to our parent's and our in-laws telling them we loved them, that we would still seek their advice, but we might not always follow it. It was hard writing that letter to my in-laws, but it set up healthy parameters early in our relationship.
Commitment needs to be rust-proof. Thanks for this!
Thanks, Jeanne1
DeleteThe letter idea in your premarital counseling is great - it's good for both the newlyweds and the in-laws. Without boundaries, no one is happy.
it'll end up like an unpainted part of a steel-bodied car...
ReplyDeleteI love that analogy. It's perfect.
Thanks! After having lived on the Gulf Coast of Florida for a short time, it was something I learned about...all too well.
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