Saturday, April 13, 2013

Myths About Writers

Most people have a set of preconceived ideas about the personality and life of those who write novels. Here, then are certain myths, exposed as false...or true!

  • Writers are rich - the best way to make a small fortune as a writer is to start with a large one
  • Writers are chic and stylish, with long flowing hair and designer clothing - this is largely true, though swave and deboner might be a better description
  • Writers have great sex lives - my characters do, but you don't get to read about it, as I respect even the privacy of paper people.
  • Writers are literate - true, and I got good at grammer cos I went threw grammer school twice, and now I know how to use all them fancy commas and stuff, and them perspirational frazers
  • Writers are well-traveled - I know all the good night spots in Duluth and Yreka
  • Writers are arrogant - it's the silly little people who buy our books, who say this
  • Writers only have to work half-time - and you can choose which twelve hours of the day you work
  • Writers base their characters on their friends - what friends?
  • Writers are perfectionists - yeah, whatever, as long as get the word count, and I'm done
  • Writers keep cats - no one keeps cats...cats keep people, and that is as it should be
  • Writers watch PBS - Big Bird is my hero!
  • Writers are inspired by classical music - very true...can't write without "Surfin' USA"
  • Writers are reclusive - would you want to hang with someone who might base a character on you, and then have that character eaten by a ferret?
  • Writers love to write - writers have to write, to afford the cheap beer the love to drink
  • You, too, can be a writer! - take a cold shower, sit down, and call your psychiatrist. NOW.
Does this resemble anyone you know?

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