A Lesser Form of Worship

Oh, how I wish I were different!

At church, I see people worshiopping with upraised hands, clearly taken up in the moment, taken up in the immanent presence of God.

I hear Christians talk about being in love with Jesus. The wording makes me cringe, but they say it with joy and fervor, and without hesitation - and I envy them

I believe in God, and that Jesus, His Son, came to Earth two thousand years ago to save humanity. I believe that he died, was buried, and rose from the dead after three days, and later ascended into Heaven.

Anyone who reads anything I've written (save engineering reports and papers!) will see a Christian thread running through everything - not because it defines me as a writer, but because it defines me as a person.

But I can't raise my arms in worship and feel anything but...well, like I'm raising my arms. And falling in love with Jesus feels, to me, like a grunt falling in love with a general. It's just the wrong metaphor.

I've been told, just do it and it'll come to you...but it doesn't.

Is a formal, somewhat hierarchical relationship with the Almighty a lesser kind oif faith? It sure feels like it. At any rate, it sure feels like a lot less fun, like I'm missing something.

Anyone care to share your experiences? Or suggest a way ahead?