tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post9083817072647483534..comments2024-03-28T11:09:46.338-07:00Comments on Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart: Your Dying Spouse 26 - MoraleAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-51659910605598145732015-07-11T20:12:42.233-07:002015-07-11T20:12:42.233-07:00Please paron the delay in my reply - things are ge...Please paron the delay in my reply - things are getting a bit bad here. But I am still here!<br /><br />I think you did a marvelous thing for your friend. Exactly the best thing you could have done, Ifeoma. We all need friends like you.<br /><br />I am encouraged. By YOU!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-16917944167073505892015-07-11T20:10:52.123-07:002015-07-11T20:10:52.123-07:00Thanks, Beth, and I am sorry for the delay in repl...Thanks, Beth, and I am sorry for the delay in replying. Things have been getting harder.<br /><br />This WILL be a book if I can only find the energy to compile it.<br /><br />Not an easy road to walk, but we were promised Calvary, not Waikiki, so I ain't a complainin'.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-89227649341373846532015-07-11T20:09:01.408-07:002015-07-11T20:09:01.408-07:00Paul, thank you...from where I stand, it seems tha...Paul, thank you...from where I stand, it seems that the only way forward is through empathy, if that makes sense. if I focus on how I feel, I get caught in a spiral of self-pity that will kill me spiritually long before my body fails.<br /><br />Thanks for being here. I really, really appreciate your comments. Far more than you know.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-17716421984758392572015-07-11T19:28:23.911-07:002015-07-11T19:28:23.911-07:00I really appropriate your kind and compassionate w...I really appropriate your kind and compassionate words for care takers. No everyone who is dying is as reasonable, and it helps to hear these things from someone who is seeing the horizon approaching.Paul Byerlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10365208584175101402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-61078231338726137392015-07-08T10:05:43.885-07:002015-07-08T10:05:43.885-07:00Great words of advice, Andrew! Again, this entire ...Great words of advice, Andrew! Again, this entire series has been such a blessing to read and I'm sure a treasure-trove of helpful insight for those walking in your and your wife's shoes. Thanks so much!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13156048755652103073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-38934721687114618142015-07-07T01:54:12.980-07:002015-07-07T01:54:12.980-07:00My sweet friend has been fighting cancer .
She jus...My sweet friend has been fighting cancer .<br />She just got back from surgery again. This time it is reparative. <br />I don't have much but I made some homemade meals and spend time talking and praying with her.<br />Most time we talk about fun things and when she can like the weekend before surgery we went for a speaking engagement together.<br />friends will help Andrew. At least keep fun activities and laughter in the room.<br />Lovely suggestions. <br />Be encouragedIfeoma Samuelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10170617762099608583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-59361148547311163562015-07-07T01:54:06.793-07:002015-07-07T01:54:06.793-07:00My sweet friend has been fighting cancer .
She jus...My sweet friend has been fighting cancer .<br />She just got back from surgery again. This time it is reparative. <br />I don't have much but I made some homemade meals and spend time talking and praying with her.<br />Most time we talk about fun things and when she can like the weekend before surgery we went for a speaking engagement together.<br />friends will help Andrew. At least keep fun activities and laughter in the room.<br />Lovely suggestions. <br />Be encouragedIfeoma Samuelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10170617762099608583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-14288405498247791182015-07-06T22:01:21.982-07:002015-07-06T22:01:21.982-07:00Thank you so much, Tammy. If I could wish away the...Thank you so much, Tammy. If I could wish away the pain and the fear and the bleak outlook - I wouldn't, because sharing this trip has brought people light, and hope, and, I think, maybe a glimpse of God's love.<br /><br />This is a burden worth carrying. I want to live - don't get me wrong! - but under the circumstances, I want even more, perhaps, to help.<br /><br />Life is STILL good, it's still worth living, it's still full of life.<br /><br />If I can share that, I'm doing my job.<br /><br />Thank you for being here, Tammy. Your comments are a bright light for me.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-55537514633295828832015-07-06T21:57:15.518-07:002015-07-06T21:57:15.518-07:00Thank you so much, Barbara - your situation makes ...Thank you so much, Barbara - your situation makes your comments particularly valuable, and I truly appreciate your perspective.<br /><br />Thank you so much for the prayers...it's a bit of a tough evening, I'm running out of energy...and I do need them.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-14390479785129874002015-07-06T21:55:29.550-07:002015-07-06T21:55:29.550-07:00It would be good, but I'm not really up to it ...It would be good, but I'm not really up to it - I have trouble keeping up my end of a conversation, as I have to talk 'around' some pretty intense pain (which is not controllable at this point, not even with morphine). But I have the dogs, and they are good listeners.<br /><br />Denali the Happy Husky is pretty good at talking back, too!<br /><br />Thank you for being here today, Martha.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-33096931176231620682015-07-06T21:53:15.237-07:002015-07-06T21:53:15.237-07:00You're right, Kim. It can and shoul;d change t...You're right, Kim. It can and shoul;d change things, and can change for the better, if only we let it.<br /><br />This sort of situation changes perspectives and values, and burns away the dross that accumulates in life. And there is humour, though it's of the somewhat warped "Pirates of the Caribbean" type.<br /><br />Friends are important - both online, and local. The latter would be hard for me, as I struggle to find words when i talk - I have to find my way around pain, and it's made me something of a tiring conversationalist!<br /><br />Thank you for being here, my friend.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-39665821439522020182015-07-06T21:48:41.130-07:002015-07-06T21:48:41.130-07:00I've let go of the news, too. The world will g...I've let go of the news, too. The world will go on without me, and my wife and dogs and readers have the rightful claim on my attention.<br /><br />For me, it's been a choice, and an easy one - and I can say that my morale is quite high, even on evenings like this - this one really hurts!<br /><br />Thanks for being here, Lisa. I really, really appreciate - and look forward to - your comments.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-85459403843933497332015-07-06T20:38:10.642-07:002015-07-06T20:38:10.642-07:00Andrew,
one of the things you have done, that I ...Andrew,<br /> one of the things you have done, that I think would be helpful, is to write. Whether it's in a journal and only for private use, or a private blog, or a public one, I think writing can help. It's a place to record those thoughts and hopes and fears and angers and griefs and joys, and to keep them from drowning you.<br />And only those who have been there or who have yet to come to that place will understand, but the understanding will bring validation to you and them simultaneously.<br /><br />What a blessed gift to write this out as a map of sorts for those hopelessly lost at the prospect of separation.<br /><br />May you both know how deeply you are moving many of us. And we pray with you.<br />Love,<br />TammyTammysincerityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16959015797818229243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-23408513835849190492015-07-06T16:52:49.222-07:002015-07-06T16:52:49.222-07:00It is so important to keep your morale up...yourse...It is so important to keep your morale up...yourself as caregiver and the cared for. It is hard to do;especially when you are unable to get out of the house. And, yes, a lot of your "friends" will not be there because they were "couple friends". The DON'T DO's are all good ones. I find myself wanting to have friends of both sexes; but, the thing is, they are no risk to a marriage of man/woman, if you get my drift!! These are just friends from church, and we do lunch after church most Sundays...<br /><br />As always, the advice you share is good for all relationships; for all kinds of situations...thank you for sharing your good advice! Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers - both of you!!<br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16954512718777249848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-38052043775048634342015-07-06T08:52:15.539-07:002015-07-06T08:52:15.539-07:00you didn't mention your friends who would come...you didn't mention your friends who would come to the house. i'm sure you may not be up to it all the time, but having your friends who are able to come by for short visits at scheduled times would be encouraging and fun for you.martha68https://www.blogger.com/profile/16210599251566858182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-22985251805294659502015-07-06T07:12:43.063-07:002015-07-06T07:12:43.063-07:00Such great advice here, Andrew. Especially your la...Such great advice here, Andrew. Especially your last few points. The only other thing that came to mind mind as I was reading was that going through illness and death does change people and the relationships around them. It should. You find out fast who is really a friend. Having a good, godly friend to walk on the other side of this with would be very helpful, so the church and life or home group connections would be a great place to put some time. Thinking of you, my friend. BlessingsAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11095272703996765890noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-41043860987349025822015-07-06T06:01:40.530-07:002015-07-06T06:01:40.530-07:00My dad always kept up with the news his entire lif...My dad always kept up with the news his entire life. But in the last weeks of his life, he quit reading the newspaper, stopped watching the news, and basically had no interest in "current" affairs as we knew them. <br /><br />You give good advice, Andrew, in every point. As the dying prepare to move on, the ones left behind prepare to continue on here. For now. We all await our turn. Lisa notes...https://www.blogger.com/profile/07103364395238899215noreply@blogger.com