tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post688156117133021729..comments2024-03-28T11:09:46.338-07:00Comments on Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart: Your Dying Spouse 102 - Helping HandsAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-35074696232233529112016-01-08T12:37:29.374-08:002016-01-08T12:37:29.374-08:00Tara, "embrace' is such a wonderful word....Tara, "embrace' is such a wonderful word...and embracing the uncertainty is a terrific concept, because everything is really uncertain; we just put our pretension of surety on life, and ignore the monsters that stalk in the darkness, closer at hand than we want to believe.<br /><br />Giving up pride is something of a surrender to that uncertainty...but it's also a surrender to the Ultimate Certainty, the unfailing Love that God has for us.<br /><br />So wonderful that you're here, tara!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-21709020672235020512016-01-08T12:33:48.753-08:002016-01-08T12:33:48.753-08:00Absolutely true, Michele. It's only through dy...Absolutely true, Michele. It's only through dying that we're born to eternal life, yes, but the road to death can offer freedom from so much posturing with which we may imprison ourselves.<br /><br />I truly appreciate your being here. You're in my prayers.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-34138606241840739552016-01-08T12:32:13.182-08:002016-01-08T12:32:13.182-08:00Barbara, thank you, most especially for affirming ...Barbara, thank you, most especially for affirming that this was not TMI!<br /><br />I was SO reluctant to write this, but had the feeling that, even in an otherwise healthy relationship, pride is such a big obstacle. It's maybe worse in my case, because of the perception that 'pride is one of the few things I have left'.<br /><br />But that's so wrong. Pride is, in the end, a cell into which one locks oneself, and feels isolated...ignoring the fact that one still holds the key to get out.<br /><br />Thank you so much for being here today!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-2839102843066325002016-01-08T12:29:14.049-08:002016-01-08T12:29:14.049-08:00Yes, Linda. prie i the loneliest place on earth, o...Yes, Linda. prie i the loneliest place on earth, or in Hell, and being there is a voluntary act.<br /><br />But so, by the grace of God, is leaving it behind.<br /><br />Thank you so much for being here.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-32377774771398471412016-01-08T12:28:11.849-08:002016-01-08T12:28:11.849-08:00June, thank you. In the end, it's all about ac...June, thank you. In the end, it's all about accepting grace, whether from my wife, or from God. So hard to do when pride gets in the way, but so vital to live life, however many days are left, with a heart of love.<br /><br />I truly appreciate your presence here, and we value and treasure your prayers.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-13838148699482248312016-01-08T12:25:03.860-08:002016-01-08T12:25:03.860-08:00Oh, Shelby, of course I remember you, and the wise...Oh, Shelby, of course I remember you, and the wise and moving comments you have made! I am so grateful that you are here today.<br /><br />I'm so happy that this has given you some measure of peace and healing. It was a tough post to write...but what you've shared makes it more than worthwhile.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-10452766614579679222016-01-08T12:22:09.918-08:002016-01-08T12:22:09.918-08:00Thank you, Paul - your comment means a lot to me. ...Thank you, Paul - your comment means a lot to me. Barbara said that she'd gotten used to being physically ignored, writing it off to pain and to the mental adjustments I've had to make to fight a very hard battle...but those adjustments did not need to exclude her, and pain's going to happen anyway.<br /><br />It's so good to learn before it's too late.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-28682738414809585322016-01-08T12:20:17.463-08:002016-01-08T12:20:17.463-08:00Thank you so much, Beth. I have learned that, even...Thank you so much, Beth. I have learned that, even in the midst of some really bad times, it can be surprisingly hard - because of pride - to accept even a loving ally. The desire to 'go it alone' is so very wrongheaded. And it's something that hides behind the guise of 'dignity'.<br /><br />Thank you so much for being here!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-51499096536398421872016-01-08T12:18:07.616-08:002016-01-08T12:18:07.616-08:00Thank you so much, Anita. In many ways this was th...Thank you so much, Anita. In many ways this was the most difficult post I have written, because I had to look at how much pride had gotten in the way of love. No wonder it's the chief sin; because the pride that can cut us off from our mate can also cut us off from God.<br /><br />Thank you so much for being here!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-22283385258499448732016-01-07T14:09:47.766-08:002016-01-07T14:09:47.766-08:00Andrew, I think you are simply sharing your story ...Andrew, I think you are simply sharing your story and that could help others who are struggling in the same vain. We were created to be in relationship and when we cannot fully live into a relationship, that is incredibly hard to admit. So much THIS: "It shouldn't take dying to know how to live. It shouldn't take dying to learn how to love" YES! YES! YES!! Let's "embrace" (my one word this year) every moment day etc even when it is hard to do. In the words of author Mandy Hales, let's embrace the "beautiful uncertainty" of it all!Tara Ulrichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02619365758739247929noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-6048352098049094722016-01-06T17:43:44.144-08:002016-01-06T17:43:44.144-08:00We need you to share your story, even the most int...We need you to share your story, even the most intimate parts, to teach us about dying...and living. Because it unfortunately we humans do not learn how to live and love until confronted with someone dying. Michele'sJoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04855919145786605453noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-79601502150397134042016-01-06T14:58:54.144-08:002016-01-06T14:58:54.144-08:00Because of the situation; because you are sharing ...Because of the situation; because you are sharing things from the perspective of one who is being "cared for"; because of your illness; because of your open-ness...because you are YOU...Andrew! I don't feel this is TMI at all! I feel it is you, being who you are; doing what you are called to do...and that is sharing from the situation you are in! No, Andrew, it is honest, open sharing, in the hopes that your words will help someone else in your situation...or not in your situation!<br /><br />I LOVE this phrase; and it really makes one stop and think, whether they are dying or not!! "It shouldn't take dying to know how to live. It shouldn't take dying to learn how to love."<br /><br />So "spot on", Andrew! Thank you for sharing!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16954512718777249848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-49168984565837710082016-01-06T13:54:41.787-08:002016-01-06T13:54:41.787-08:00the land of pride's a lonely place, isn't ...the land of pride's a lonely place, isn't it ...<br /><br />you're brave.Linda Stollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15568264417855502332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-43681617705843064912016-01-06T13:33:51.445-08:002016-01-06T13:33:51.445-08:00This: "It shouldn't take dying to know ho...This: "It shouldn't take dying to know how to live. It shouldn't take dying to learn how to love."<br /><br />It helps, Andrew, never doubt your words help. Writing is your work, the rest is up to Him. And grace. Always grace. Continued prayers for you and Barbara.Inspired By Junehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09846209740481251443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-42833877250599675452016-01-06T10:51:40.037-08:002016-01-06T10:51:40.037-08:00Andrew, you probably don't remember but I'...Andrew, you probably don't remember but I've left you comments here before, having been my husband's caregiver for 15 years until his death in 2010. What you've said here helps me ... it helps me to understand some of why Rich withdrew from intimacy with me before it was strictly physically necessary. It helps to heal the bruised space that has been in my heart. And if it helps me, you can bet it will help someone else who has either gone through it in the past or is dealing with it now -- whether caregiver or spouse.<br /><br />Your courage is astonishing and humbling and I have grown to love who you are through your writings.Shelbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07139800635457705142noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-24120282485159213652016-01-06T09:12:49.234-08:002016-01-06T09:12:49.234-08:00Well done my friend, well done.
I know many caret...Well done my friend, well done. <br />I know many caretakers who silently crave some form of sexual intimacy with their spouse, but don't feel they have a right to ask for it. I realise there's more to it in your situation, but resorting a lost part of marriage is still a wonderful thing for both you and Barb.Paul Byerlyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10365208584175101402noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-73551335690650539542016-01-06T07:37:44.096-08:002016-01-06T07:37:44.096-08:00Thank you for being brave enough, Andrew, to be th...Thank you for being brave enough, Andrew, to be this frank about the many challenges a terminally ill spouse and the caregiving spouse have to deal with. I'm grateful that Barbara has been your ally in this battle and given to you in ways that remind you of her love. We need to know that these challenges will come when we walk through those valleys and I'm grateful that you've given voice to those kinds of struggles in life and marriage, my friend.Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13156048755652103073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-8752905399629421302016-01-06T06:04:50.662-08:002016-01-06T06:04:50.662-08:00Intimacy during illness--either physical, emotiona...Intimacy during illness--either physical, emotional or spiritual--is difficult (shucks, it's hard during health, too). Your transparency and willingness to share the intimate details of your marriage will help others realize that perhaps they, too, have cut themselves off from the intimacy they crave because of pride. blestbutstresthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02058280295906350992noreply@blogger.com