tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post6807791532357722568..comments2024-03-28T20:57:55.651-07:00Comments on Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart: Spouse ReplacementAndrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-13915485804210422162014-06-11T09:33:03.129-07:002014-06-11T09:33:03.129-07:00Good question - I think it's because of a feel...Good question - I think it's because of a feeling that this world and the next are closer that we usually think, and this life and the next form a kind of continuum.<br /><br />Thus. there are no drastic 'changes'; only seasons.<br /><br />If my wife dies before I do, I think she'll be just up the road from me, hidden for the moment by a hill or a stand of trees. Eventually I'll catch up.<br /><br />In the meantime, solitude has its season, and its purpose.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-18290197798615390902014-06-11T07:27:02.777-07:002014-06-11T07:27:02.777-07:00"Some of us - myself included - would never c..."Some of us - myself included - would never consider remarriage, and would look at bereavement as a sort of lifetime hermitage." I'm curious - why? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15615035905042738222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-52563189259341446342014-06-06T21:41:19.256-07:002014-06-06T21:41:19.256-07:00Slinging guilt like mud - I love that image!Slinging guilt like mud - I love that image!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-21971993329911431922014-06-05T05:06:08.110-07:002014-06-05T05:06:08.110-07:00Hubs and I have pretty much told each other to mou...Hubs and I have pretty much told each other to mourn and then carry on. If we find happiness again? Great. If not, that's fine too. We want each other to be happy and not hobbled by guilt. I think our kids are smart enough to know that guilt is the slayer of all things good, so why sling it like mud?Jennifer Majorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12696261499182486196noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-14885623201674083272014-06-04T11:39:35.310-07:002014-06-04T11:39:35.310-07:00That readjustment is something I'd find hard, ...That readjustment is something I'd find hard, as well. Solitude would be better, but I have to say that I always craved solitude.<br /><br />For a naturally gregarious person, it could be just awful.<br /><br />Thank you for your kind thoughts - I really felt awful for my doctor, having to deliver a prognosis like that. He's a warm and caring man, and it tore him up.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-52582681385549344432014-06-04T11:35:52.080-07:002014-06-04T11:35:52.080-07:00'm so glad that you were able to become a chan...'m so glad that you were able to become a channel of grace and peace for your dad. Loneliness can be a burden whose severity is unexpectedly fierce.<br /><br />And thank you for your kind thoughts, and the cyber-hug! Yes, it was a hospital mistake, but such things happen. Death has been at my elbow for much of my life, and acceptance hasn't been too hard. I don't resent it. Well, maybe a little.<br /><br />But I'll be fighting on for awhile yet. I figure that we really don't know what animates us, and that faith can trump a wrecked body. I know I've seen lightly-wounded men die, and I've seen guys with limbs blown off move ten klicks through the bush to a PZ - and then help others into the helicopter.<br /><br />It's not over until it's over, and when that moment comes is - thankfully - not my call.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-86507165783775173952014-06-04T11:35:10.445-07:002014-06-04T11:35:10.445-07:00This comment has been removed by the author.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-10777059600746009382014-06-04T11:14:20.474-07:002014-06-04T11:14:20.474-07:00It's a hard topic to deal with, yes, but I'...It's a hard topic to deal with, yes, but I've seen all to much oif it. Sometimes with happy resolutions, sometimes without.<br /><br />I do think that, overall, this tests the limits of our acceptance of God's grace. Grace can be rather inconvenient when it runs up against tradition and pride.<br /><br />We are all wounded by this life; it's not ours to choose whether we are walking wounded, able to get to the aid station on our own, or whether we need stretcher-bearers to get us there.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-57392834489639423872014-06-04T10:56:27.246-07:002014-06-04T10:56:27.246-07:00"Death of a spouse is a traumatic amputation ..."Death of a spouse is a traumatic amputation of the soul." Well said. I've often thought that if my husband dies first, I won't remarry. I think I'd rather do solitude than start over adjusting to a new person. <br /><br />But I totally understand and am happy when people do find new mates and start over with a new season of life. Hope springs eternal, right? I tell my husband he's free to remarry after I'm gone, not that he'd need my permission. ;-)<br /><br />I know technically we're all dying, but it still takes me aback when I read this: " my doctor says I'm dying". It makes me sad. But I appreciate your acknowledgement of it; that takes courage. <br />Lisa notes...https://www.blogger.com/profile/07103364395238899215noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-62161915633356175312014-06-04T10:47:41.643-07:002014-06-04T10:47:41.643-07:00You are grappling so graciously through these deep...You are grappling so graciously through these deep and overtaking waters, Andrew. I remember when my mom died, my dad immediately felt such loneliness. In just a month or two, he had looked up an old widowed friend and they began to date. After just a few more short months they were planning their wedding. It was all too fast for me and I let him know so. But after the wedding, I just surrendered it to God and ended up having a better relationship with my step-mom than my siblings who were initially more open to her. Grief does some weird stuff--taking lots of twists and turns. I hate the fact that you are dying, Andrew. It breaks my heart, especially since you're probably fairly young and, if I remember correctly, this was due to a hospital mistake, right? That would make accepting this so much harder. My biggest comfort in all of this is that you will be sitting with Jesus and experiencing no pain but only joy and His deep, abiding love for you. Still, it's hard to think of you being gone from here so soon. You've touched my heart, my friend! I will deeply miss you! Consider yourself cyber-hugged!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13156048755652103073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-15707173345154918842014-06-04T05:40:06.535-07:002014-06-04T05:40:06.535-07:00Well, Andrew, you've waded deep here. This is...Well, Andrew, you've waded deep here. This is one of those let's-put-it-on-the-back-shelf topics. But you have been brave and wise in your words ... a very difficult, tender subject.Linda Stollhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15568264417855502332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-60448877680259202892014-06-03T21:31:17.808-07:002014-06-03T21:31:17.808-07:00Neither would I. I simply couldn't.
But I rec...Neither would I. I simply couldn't.<br /><br />But I recently saw a situation in which a lovely woman, widowed after many decades, had found unexpected happiness...and her family put her through literal Hell.<br /><br />It's as if they thought she has no right to joy, because her husband died and she didn't.<br /><br />It did work out - she remarried, and has several months of a fulfilled life before she, too, was claimed by death. Her family chose to stay away, and it was their loss.<br /><br />I wrote this for her.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-30039451371165053322014-06-03T21:05:50.680-07:002014-06-03T21:05:50.680-07:00Hmmmm....I don't think I would get married aga...Hmmmm....I don't think I would get married again. That's just not for me.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13082187789450193644noreply@blogger.com