A lot of ground lost, and more pain than I thought I could bear.
But in the midst of it all, I still think that God is on my side. But it's the way I think, and that is what I have to stress.
The hardest part of caregiving is that you really only have half of the puzzle-pieces...you can't know how your loved one is really feeling (and this goes for the dying spouse, as well, not being privy to the caregiver's perspective).
This may be the most telling in conversations of faith; there can be a total disconnect...for me, for instance, saying "God loves us because He said so in the Bible" cuts no ice. If I didn't have a carefully reasoned and solid framework, both experiential and logical (see my book Faith In The Night), for believing that, I wouldn't. When you're on the bathroom floor in a foetal position, vomiting blood, it can be hard to feel loved.
But from the other side, I look like a doubter, and if I press my thoughts too hard, I can shake the faith of someone whose life has been based around literal acceptance.
I am not saying I'm right, or that my perspective is in any way superior...it's just different, and both caregiver and patient have to see that there are some views that their mate sees while they, themselves, cannot.
We are linked with Messy Marriage.
I did not think I would get this written for today, Monday the 30th. As mentioned above...it was bad.
Please comment; I truly value your input. I will do my best to reply
here's another ebook that is now live on Kindle..."PTSD And The Holidays - Helping The Veteran You Love". If you'd like a copy, please either click on the cover to go to Amazon or email me at tempusfugit02 (at) gmail (dot) com and I'll send a PDF. It;'s short, but if you're dealing with PTSD, it may help.
I'd also like to mention, again, the other two new short ebooks.
The first is "Faith in the Night", which describes why, in the face of a life that has largely fallen apart, I still have faith, and still feel loved by God...and why I still want to live.
The second is a Christmas story, "Angela - A New Mexico Christmas". It's about a boy, his grandfather, and the cow that saves their lives in a blizzard...but she's part of a beef herd, and can the rescued become the rescuers?
If you'd like one or both, you can email me (tempusfugit02(at) gmail (dot) com) for a PDF, or click on the covers to go to the Amazon Kindle pages. They's both 99 cents.