tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post8361471284731574758..comments2024-03-26T13:47:55.472-07:00Comments on Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart: Surviving the Affair - the Road from Hell.Andrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-33374043387026404362014-01-24T12:21:13.930-08:002014-01-24T12:21:13.930-08:00The dichotomy between unforgiveness at home, and f...The dichotomy between unforgiveness at home, and forgiveness through Chist would indeed be torture...<br /><br />As He pointed out, in the parable of the servant who was forgvien his debts, and then turned around to shake down someone who owed HIM money. Handed over to the torturers, as I recall... Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-79856910680190872462014-01-23T18:24:22.444-08:002014-01-23T18:24:22.444-08:00"Otherwise the forgiveness is diluted; every ..."Otherwise the forgiveness is diluted; every time the offense is recalled, whether in the privacy of the mind or in a carefully-crafted 'offhand' remark, it sets back the clock of redemption."<br /><br />Well said, Andrew. I love Jill's comment, too. <br /><br />One would be trapped forever in un-forgiveness. Forgiven through the Cross ... un-forgiven at home. That would be torture. Shelli Littletonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00136640834514348086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-31648693240294788722014-01-17T10:24:02.310-08:002014-01-17T10:24:02.310-08:00Well, said, Jill! I love the phrase, 'trump ca...Well, said, Jill! I love the phrase, 'trump card factor'.<br /><br />Marriage is organic, and allowing for growth and healing simply does not allow room for ego, either in superiority or inferiority.<br /><br />The trust factor is important, and hard to address, because the most effective treatment is to re-extend complete trust, along with non-conditional forgiveness. There's an old adage that if you don't trust your spouse, they'll eventually prove you right...that distrust sows evil seeds.<br /><br />This goes against gut feeling! One feels that trust has to be slowly re-earned, in small steps...but the truth is that this method plays the trump card. Re-extending complete trust may seem naive, a dreaful risk, but marriage is a risk. Life is a risk.<br /><br />Here's an analogy. When I learned to fly, a well-meaning friend advised me to stay low and slow until I had experience. Fine-sounding for a non-pilot, but completely wrong.<br /><br />An airplane flown slowly is closer to its 'stalling' speed, at which the wing stops generating lift. Recovering from a stall requires putting the nose down to regain flying speed...and it you're low you don't have the altitude to play with<br /><br />Fast and high may seem daring, but it's life.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-42371723600025682372014-01-17T09:53:22.055-08:002014-01-17T09:53:22.055-08:00Such a timely and important topic, Andrew. I have...Such a timely and important topic, Andrew. I have nothing to add! I agree--the movies put unrealistic expectations about overcoming betrayal. It can take years to rebuild trust, and it takes huge change for both parties. Also, the betrayed person needs to let go of the trump card factor. Jill Kemererhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07865493609868329393noreply@blogger.com