tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post74864919804195953..comments2024-03-28T20:57:55.651-07:00Comments on Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart: Your Dying Spouse 43 - Learning To Let Go {FMF}Andrewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-54121864946779695842015-08-17T19:04:32.846-07:002015-08-17T19:04:32.846-07:00Boy, Andrew...you know how to give someone a whole...Boy, Andrew...you know how to give someone a whole bundle of encouragement! Thank you...I know my writing doesn't touch MANY; but my writing touches those who need to read it. I just pray that God continues to put the words into my heart to share...I'm certainly not doing it of my own...You are a true blessing and Man of God, Andrew; wherever you get those thoughts and actions.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16954512718777249848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-40530141704154377252015-08-16T20:55:46.616-07:002015-08-16T20:55:46.616-07:00Thanks, Beth - it can be hard to almost push the c...Thanks, Beth - it can be hard to almost push the caregiver out the door, saying "Get thee to the gym!"<br /><br />For one thing, I'm usually feeling awful enough that I'm grateful for both company and assistance...and for another, unless handled gently and well, it can seem like something of a rejection to the caregiver.<br /><br />It really has to be talked-out...preferably in a counseling milieu, to avoid misunderstandings becoming buried mines.<br /><br />Thanks for being here!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-69499839533675329792015-08-16T20:53:24.257-07:002015-08-16T20:53:24.257-07:00Aurda, thank you so much for this. And thank you f...Aurda, thank you so much for this. And thank you for being here. I appreciate you.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-62885010601369970562015-08-16T20:52:40.840-07:002015-08-16T20:52:40.840-07:00Aye, but with a velvet boot!
You have earned the ...Aye, but with a velvet boot!<br /><br />You have earned the right to brood now and again, Marie; you've endured much, and brooding may, in the end, be that dark fertilizer that produces the brightest blossoms. Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-53991492551020855042015-08-16T20:51:02.996-07:002015-08-16T20:51:02.996-07:00Dawn, thank you so much. It's really a collabo...Dawn, thank you so much. It's really a collaborative effort - I learn a tremendous amount from the people who comment here, sharing their experiences.<br /><br />Truly you all are a blessing.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-77451799278799286002015-08-16T20:49:43.404-07:002015-08-16T20:49:43.404-07:00The wisdom's in you, Barbara...I've learne...The wisdom's in you, Barbara...I've learned a LOT from your blog, and your comments here. You've influenced my thoughts and actions more than you know<br /><br />And thank you, again and always, for the prayers.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-32683841728316338802015-08-16T20:47:13.446-07:002015-08-16T20:47:13.446-07:00It is tough going it alone...and when circumstance...It is tough going it alone...and when circumstances make outside help a problem, it can be almost impossible. We need those connections, especially at those trying times...and we must, in a sense, 'practice' giving and receiving help when we're well..Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-215956318059594242015-08-16T20:44:46.479-07:002015-08-16T20:44:46.479-07:00Oh, Susan, what you've gone through! And then ...Oh, Susan, what you've gone through! And then sciatica...the chiro was right, in her analysis.<br /><br />Thank you so much for being here. Please pardon my late reply - it was kind of a bad weekend, physically.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-71638399045876164372015-08-16T20:42:54.224-07:002015-08-16T20:42:54.224-07:00Denise, you just brought tears - the good kind - t...Denise, you just brought tears - the good kind - to my eyes.<br /><br />Thank you for being here.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-89023609519835730492015-08-16T20:42:13.372-07:002015-08-16T20:42:13.372-07:00Hey Sweet Sixteen!
I loved the joke, because I LO...Hey Sweet Sixteen!<br /><br />I loved the joke, because I LOVE goats. There is a goat story I will tell one day, when FMF has the right keyword. (It was a battle of wits, and the goat won.)<br /><br />Thank you for the prayers, Tammy. They mean more than you know.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-20958860390125972612015-08-16T20:40:15.249-07:002015-08-16T20:40:15.249-07:00Thank you so much, Tara! I've found a lot of c...Thank you so much, Tara! I've found a lot of comfort in churches, in various parts of the world...one was no more than a burned and bombed-out shell, but God still kept His place amidst the rubble.<br /><br />And thank you for being here. I treasure your comments!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-20023113344884137792015-08-16T20:36:32.509-07:002015-08-16T20:36:32.509-07:00It's sad, but I think true, that a lot of care...It's sad, but I think true, that a lot of caregivers do choose death while on the journey...that death of hope that leaves them embittered, and, sadly, the focus of that bitterness is often the person to whom they have devoted so much of their lives.<br /><br />Thank you for being here - and most especially for the prayers!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-87917289936143194542015-08-16T20:34:21.791-07:002015-08-16T20:34:21.791-07:00I'm so glad for you, for that miraculous heali...I'm so glad for you, for that miraculous healing...and so sorry you had that long recovery time. It IS very hard to keep one's own needs for self-care 'current'; it goes against the societal paradigm of 'caregiver as martyr'...and that's the paradigm many caregivers hold, themselves...that if it's not a for, of martyrdom, it's not enough.<br /><br />Thanks so much for being here!Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-11857328911609329382015-08-16T20:30:28.830-07:002015-08-16T20:30:28.830-07:00Thanks so much for being here, and adding your voi...Thanks so much for being here, and adding your voice..."please remember my family" is grace elucidated.<br /><br />And yes, compassion fatigue is very real; as caregiving can consume our time, it can also consume our souls.Andrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13230537202427640540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-70035490766307865442015-08-16T12:44:23.667-07:002015-08-16T12:44:23.667-07:00Agreed, Andrew! There is so much that a caretaker ...Agreed, Andrew! There is so much that a caretaker must remember to care of in his/her life, all the while caring for their loved one. It is a difficult balance, for sure! But I'm grateful that you see that and are encouraging not only your wife, Barbara, but others who might get so caught up in providing care that they don't stop to care for themselves. Great words of wisdom!Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13156048755652103073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-40588088493661442262015-08-16T10:39:35.739-07:002015-08-16T10:39:35.739-07:00These are wise words and a beautiful heart shows b...These are wise words and a beautiful heart shows behind them. Thank you.Audra Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15520409864345551851noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-9746990674362785322015-08-15T16:00:03.013-07:002015-08-15T16:00:03.013-07:00You would talk about brooding when I've been d...You would talk about brooding when I've been doing that for a couple of weeks now. Insomnia pushes me down the dark hole.<br /><br />Thanks for a needed kick in the rear, my friend.Mariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04280944336944538944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-64549645328989231322015-08-15T07:04:40.689-07:002015-08-15T07:04:40.689-07:00I am just humbled by the wisdom you share here. Th...I am just humbled by the wisdom you share here. Thank you. <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16089167501291169373noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-56867034513163211752015-08-14T09:36:12.800-07:002015-08-14T09:36:12.800-07:00Learning so much from your posts, Andrew. While I...Learning so much from your posts, Andrew. While I have my daughters nearby (as well as the grandchildren!) and a group of friends (hobby) and a church (Sunday lunch bunch, choir, deacons)...and I DO get away to myself to craft and work my hobby and shop and spend time with my daughters...I KNOW THERE WILL COME A TIME when I won't be able to be away as I am now. I KNOW this! And, I think I am prepared for it...<br /><br />Spending time with your spouse, focusing on that spouse and the time spent with them...I know I am lacking in that area. Exercising?! ME? Exercise?? Yet, I KNOW that I need to do this - for ME as well as for my spouse!<br /><br />Thank you as always for sharing your words with us...one of these days, when I need to "remember what Andrew said", I'll pull that book off the shelf, or pull it up on the computer, and read your wise words again!!! Thanks to you and Barb...and prayers for you both!!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16954512718777249848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-36904031844036726062015-08-14T07:41:53.438-07:002015-08-14T07:41:53.438-07:00Stopping by from Five Minute Friday - your words a...Stopping by from Five Minute Friday - your words are wise. I wish I'd had them to share with my stepmother before my dad passed away. He had Parkinson's, and didn't want outside help. She was pretty much it, and I know it was tough on her. Thank you for sharing.Lisa @ The Plain-Spoken Penhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15589278128659676715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-67344492545966704762015-08-14T07:23:00.114-07:002015-08-14T07:23:00.114-07:00I'm #40 at Kate's.I'm #40 at Kate's.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14364430951695372897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-7522795263414317572015-08-14T07:22:45.199-07:002015-08-14T07:22:45.199-07:00Andrew, my hubs broke his neck in Nov 2003 and wor...Andrew, my hubs broke his neck in Nov 2003 and wore a halo for 6.5 months and slept in a hospital bed in the laundry room. I was it...he could walk, move, etc and could do things himself but still with great limitation. After he recovered, I had a bout with sciatica that just about whooped my behind - I was being treated by a chiro and she was asking me all kinds of questions about my past and the different stresses of life. I told her everything, bad first marriage, single motherhood, a husband that broke his neck, etc. She said and I quote, "Good grief woman no wonder you're in pain - all these life stresses have become a pain in your A**." Yes, we laughed because it was so unexpected but THESE life journeys need to be dealt with and I think you outline some of the very important things a caregiver needs to give themselves. Bravo. And, of course you know I think you are one of the bravest people I know. xoxoSusanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14364430951695372897noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-19117970981455693902015-08-14T02:39:58.467-07:002015-08-14T02:39:58.467-07:00I truly appreciate you.I truly appreciate you.Denisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09275456448997619944noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-56925299218042607922015-08-13T20:53:33.167-07:002015-08-13T20:53:33.167-07:00Well written again, Andrew. Your gifting is not wa...Well written again, Andrew. Your gifting is not wasted for a moment.<br />I think I would add that it's good to find things that make you feel. Feel anger, feel grief, feel laughter. Find ways to put those feelings down. Journaling, painting, writing music, all the ways you can possibly do it, allow yourself to feel and then to process those feelings. They're real. Some are healthy to dwell in, and others need be brought out and put away and brought out again.<br />So, here's a joke from my four year old. It's the first one she's told that made sense. Normally "why did the chicken cross the road? because it was a toaster." (lack of connection)<br /><br />"Why did the goat want to sing?" <br /><br />Wait for it....<br /><br /><br />"Because it was in a Ba-a-a-a-a-nd!"<br /><br />:) Praying you and Barbara still find occasion to laugh along with every other feeling you are experiencing.<br />~Tammy<br />(linked at sweet 16 this week)Tammysincerityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16959015797818229243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4095822388315899381.post-23744143996016798322015-08-13T20:48:57.217-07:002015-08-13T20:48:57.217-07:00Andrew, another great post. Church really is a gre...Andrew, another great post. Church really is a great place to go when someone is grieving. Oh and that last line is pure gold my friend! "Learning to let go in a way that brings grace has to begin with knowing how to hold on." Tara Ulrichhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02619365758739247929noreply@blogger.com