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Sunday, March 6, 2016

Your Dying Spouse 127 - The Big Why

When you have a terminal illness, or you're a caregiver, you're tempted to ask, "Why, God? Why me, why this?"

So much of Scripture should offer comfort, but doesn't...the assurance that all things work together for good is a bit thin when one is both vomiting blood and having the runs. At the same time.

Sorry, but that's reality.

And you know it won't get better.

For the caregiver, you leave for work in the morning, and you don't know what you'll find on your return.

Sometimes it's ugly, and always, you have to gird yourself for the worst.

It never lets up.


There's an answer, but it may be hard to hear, much less accept.

It's not about you.

The trials you go through, the pain and the heartache...their primary use may be as an example to others.

What you do, right now, when your husband or wife has collapsed and you're waiting for the ambulance, or whether you're dying and alone and you can't reach the phone...those may be the vital link in someone else's development, or sustaining of faith.

Your example may not change the world, but it can change a small part of it.

And it's hard to let go of the thought that God is going to shield you from pain and from the peculiar heartache of living in a place that will soon be lacking the sound of your spouse's voice. It's hard to look around your home and realize..."One day soon, he or she is not going to be here...and this place, influenced by our shared life and routines...it will change."

It's one of the worst things about a protracted death.

But in all of that, you still have the choice to live well.

You have the chance to transcend your situation, and leave a legacy for others.

Don't fail. Please.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

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  1. Beautiful post. We can't but God can. When I am weak, I am strong in Christ. Thank you. God bless you and yours!

  2. You're showing us how, you're blazing a trail, you're an inspiration, Andrew. And only God knows the impact your legacy is leaving, one written word at a time.

  3. Oh yes, Andrew, it is soooo tempting to ask the big question, WHY?!! I could have asked that years ago when I was lying on the floor after being beaten by a young man who, probably just wanted money for his drugs or alcohol; yet, looking back I knew I was the one that would be able to "take it" (the beating) rather than any number of "older" members of the church...

    In the real true face of death, maybe we know the answer; and maybe we don't. But, we know that He IS there to help us in whatever way we need...strength to bury our beloved companion (Snowflake) alone; memories to keep us going another day and yet another one...patience and love and understanding for our caregiver (or care-receiver)...He is with us!

    Thank you for continueing to share your posts; they sure do keep us learning more and more about the side of caregiving (or receiving) that you know!! {{Hugs and Prayers}}

  4. It just occurred to me that I don't always have to "comment" - that sometimes, the best thing we can do for someone else is simply be present. Since this is via computer, the commenting part is to let you know that I'm here. I'm reading. I'm praying.

  5. I'm so grateful to have come over to view your post and to find one! Andrew what perspective you have gained in a short year's time! (Dare I say you may get to celebrate Easter?! You weren't even sure of Christmas.)
    The beauty coming forth in your posts continues to grow. We're getting more of Jesus each time. Which creates hunger to read more.
    Eager as always to hear what you have to share!
    P.S. What do you call two cows in a field discussing rocket science? My uncle said "udder nonsense" and I came up with "cowsmonauts".
    You're welcome.