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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Plan On Your Marriage {Wedded Wednesday / Five Minute Friday / The Weekend Brew}

Time for Five-Minute Friday , hosted by Kate Motaung. The challenge is to write for five minutes on a given "theme word", posted by Kate on Thursday night...and then stop when the timer dings.

We're also with The Weekend Brew.

Today's word is plan.


GO.

We all love to be spontaneous, and our culture enshrines it...it's the fount of freshness, of vitality, of fun.

Unfortunately, it also can leave one feeling pretty flat, when things just don't happen according to the script.

What's wrong with planned fun., anyway?

I think this is the kind that can really make a marriage bloom...the kind of enjoyment that's carefully prepared, based on your intimate knowledge of your mate's tastes, likes, and hopes.

To plan means to care...it means that you care enough about giving your husband or wife something enjoyable...a gift of a wonderful time...that you're willing to take your time to prepare it.

It means that you listened, in the time you were together.

It means that you remember the things that you were told, the things you observed.

To plan means that you're willing to go the extra mile.

Sure, there's room for the spontaneous gesture, the spur-of-the-moment "let's go to Paris for the weekend" inspiration.

But wouldn't it be more fun, if you've never been to the City of Light, to have a guidebook and a map, to get an idea for what you might see, and what you might enjoy?

Wouldn't you want to give your mate the joy of knowing you planned for his pleasure, for her enjoyment?

STOP

If you enjoyed this post, you might also like Marriage Play Date.


This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information. It's run by Beth Steffaniak, who has a heart for marriage and a soul for God!

18 comments:

  1. I like your take on the word "Plan." We forget to plan time for fun in our marriage. Life gets too busy! If we always wait for spontaneous, sometimes it doesn't happen by itself! So I like the idea of planning it.

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    1. It's so easy to forget the planning, the anticipation that we enjoyed during courtship!

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  2. You're right, there's something really delicious about waiting for a trip to arrive, with all the expectancy and openness to the experiences it will bring. Maybe planning time together should have the same effect on us - giving us the time to prepare our hearts and minds, and to reorientate our attention towards each other. Stopping by from #fmfparty.

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    1. Thanks so much for being here!

      I think you're right, and you said it well..."preparing our hearts and minds, and to reorientate our attention towards each other".

      Just perfect.

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  3. I'm a planner at heart - plan but welcome spontaneity - and be willing to roll with plans that don't work according to plan! Sweet reminder - I'm great a planning the boys' schedules and ours into it -I need to make sure I plan time for us, too! Shalom!

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    1. And sometimes the plans that replace the ones we've crafted work out so much better!

      I can be guilty of planning others' schedules, and forgetting my own, too. Thanks for that reminder, and Shalom! back at ya!

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  4. That is a great explanation to my husband, who says we aren't spontaneous in life. And he's right. We schedule time together because we care, and if we waited to be surprised with time to be spontaneous, it wouldn't happen. Plus, planning in advance keeps you exited for the prize :)

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    1. Absolutely right...waiting for the spontaneous moment means you may wait a long, long time.

      Far better to enjoy the anticipation!

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  5. Let's hear it for a plan! I loved this post, Andrew. You're right. Our culture does enshrine the idea of spontaneity. But, when my husband does something for me/plans a date he knows I'll love, it means so much more to me than, "Okay, Jeanne, what do you want to do tonight?"

    Planning things in our marriage based on what we know about our spouse can be so much more meaningful than continuous spontaneity.

    Loved these thoughts!

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    1. Jeanne, thank you so much!

      It means a lot to be the planner, too...thinking of the ways your spouse will enjoy the time you've crafted to share.

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  6. Such great truth. My husband and I are planning to spend a night away from our son for our 8 year anniversary at the end of this month. I am looking forward to the time alone and it is nice to plan something so you can dream about the fun event before it happens.

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    1. What a wonderful thing you have to look forward to!

      And what lovely memories you'll have...the spur to future planned adventures in marriage?

      I hope so!

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  7. To 'plan' helps you get prepared. You are emotionally ready even if things don't go as expected you are satisfied because you gave it a shot. I like this word "PLAN".
    God Bless Andrew and thank you so much.

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    1. God Bless you, too, and thank you for being here!

      You're exactly right. At least you gave it a shot, and if it doesn't work...you can enjoy the surprises.

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  8. I'm a major planner. I truly love lists, goals,... I notice when I don't put this extra effort into my marriage, it definitely suffers. We have to be intentional at times, or as you said, be "willing to go the extra mile." I think my husband can see how important he is to me when I take time to plan things for just us.

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    1. Perfectly said, Candace. "When I don't put this extra effort into my marriage, it definitely suffers."

      I think that we get a societal message that once the marriage is accomplished, it can be left to hum along by itself, while we turn to "new challenges".

      But every day of being married is one of the BIGGEST challenges we face!

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  9. Thank you for reminding me that it's okay to plan for fun in my marriage.

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    1. You're so welcome!

      And thank YOU for having a delightful, humourous, and inspiring blog to which we can turn for wisdom!

      Anyone reading this...click on Barbie's name. You'll be hooked on her Freshly Brewed Life, and you'll enjoy every cup!

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