Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Fearless? {Tuesdays@Ten / Wedded Wednesday}

A meditation on fear, the keyword for KarenBeth's Tuesdays@Ten challenge.

No Fear...remember the moto t-shirts?

Fear not, for I am with you...in perfect faith, yes, but in the real world...kind of hard to do.

I do know fear. With a really nasty illness, I live with it every day.

And I can create fear. I'm pretty well trained in things like "enhanced interrogation". Everyone breaks.

So how do we deal with it? If fearlessness isn't possible, where do we turn?

Control and compassion.

I think that the goal of faith isn't to overcome fear, but to control it, to be able to operate in spite of being scared out of our minds.

To know, deep down, that even if we hit The End, it's not really the end.

And compassion, for those moments when fear does take control. Compassion for our own scared and wounded hearts.

Circling back to marriage...there are things that are scary.

What if my spouse gets sick? What if he or she dies?

What if he or she stops loving me?

What if...what if...what if...

The whatifs don't go away because we want them to, or because we pray them away.

They  get controlled, fenced in. We live with their presence, yes, but their presence is offset by a Larger Presence.

And that is God.

If you have a moment, please stop by at my other blog, Starting The Day With Grace.

This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information. It's run by Beth Steffaniak, who has a heart for marriage and a soul for God!


  1. Love your post on FEAR! I wrote on that word recently for Five Minute Fridays (I think); may have to ponder over this word again and see what I come up with ... or not!

    Thank you for sharing another piece of your journey through the word FEAR.

    1. Thank you so much, Barbara - could you reply with the link to that post? I'd love to read it.

  2. Maybe my issue with your wording today is more of a semantic matter, but I really don't like the word "control" for managing fear. I do believe we must exert self-control, but that is only done effectively through surrender to God. I think that may be what you're saying here, Andrew, because you mention God's "hope" as you face the end. But I still wonder, though, how much of your approach is based in "self-effort" versus letting God have it and letting Him work through you to conquer the fear and deal with your circumstances? That "line" is very "fine" and hard to objectively see, that's for sure! Bottom line, I do appreciate the idea that our fears should not control us! On that single point we completely agree! Thanks for sharing your insight and own personal struggle, my friend!

    1. yeah, I didn't say it quite the way I wanted to...'control' is really supposed to have two parts.

      The first is, as you pointed out, realizing that one has to give it over to the Almighty, and that he truly is the final arbiter of fear.

      The second is that even when our faith fails us, we still have to go on, 'acting as if' we have faith, so to speak. Trusting God when He seems to be a long way away.

      Thanks! You helped my clarify my thinking, and I do appreciate it.

  3. Hi Andrew, We certainly could get lost in fear and let it control our life if we let it, couldn't we? I think that is why God said, "Do not fear," so many times in the bible. Depending on how you search, it comes up almost one for each day of the year. He has all our days planned out, we only need to follow His voice. Blessings to you, friend.

    1. Indeed, He could see that we need a LOT of reassurance!

      I sure do. Right now...ugh. Scary stuff happening.