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"We fight, therefore we are." Menachem Begin
For those who may not remember, Menachem Begin was prime minister of Israel through some of its hardest years in the 70s. It was he who was willing to meet Yassir Arafat for the Camp David accords, which led, if not to peace, to a certain level of understanding between Jew and Arab.
OK, so I' am cheating - I'm using the surname 'Begin', and not 'begin'. Too bad.)
What he is saying here is that our battles define us; our willingness to risk pain and death for a greater cause are what forms our legacy.
The same is true - sometimes - in marriage. We don't want to be unequally yoked, with divergent vision.
And if we are, we should be understanding and forbearing.
There are some battles in marriage we simply have to fight. We have to fight against adultery, obviously - we can;'t just say,"well, dear, as long as you're happy..."
We have to fight against "emotional adultery", a rather new category of dreadfullness to which the Internet has given birth. How lovely that we can reconnect with old friends.
And how revolting that we can reconnect with Old Flames.
These are things we have to fight, because if we don;'t, we sacrifice not only who we are, but the person our mate expected on that Wedding Day.
We were expected to bring not only a warm hug, but a bracing shout.
And now may be the time.