Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.


Monday, March 31, 2014

Marriage and Loyalty

We live in an age of whistleblowers. The work of some is valid. The work of most is, frankly, "look at ME" dressed in clothes of attempted respectability.

Loyalty seems to have gone right out the window. It's obsolete, like the Edsel. Now each individual is a cause unto him-or-herself.

So how does this relate to marriage?

Quite directly. How many times have you heard someone complaining about their marriage, or running down their spouse to gain sympathy or (worse) for humorous effect?

(I'm not talking about speaking in confidence with a counselor, or with a trusted friend. There are things we have to share, there are parts of a marriage we have to lay out to see if we're reading it right.)

No, this refers to the "morning coffee complaint department", or the "gym counseling sessions". This is a general airing of discontent in front of an audience that will not hear the other side - and doesn't want to.

A polite term for this is character assassination. Slamming the character of a person who has no way to answer the charges.

It has no place in a marriage.

In marriage, we make vows. "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health".

Not, "until I feel like complaining to my buds".

Oh...and it ends, "So help me, God."

This is called being locked in. You're locked in by your own choice. You owe allegiance. It's no longer a choice. Allegiance is a duty before God.

You owe it to your spouse to speak well of him or her in public and in private. You owe it to your mate to stand against any accusations or criticism - even if the accusations are true, or the criticisms justified.

You owe your spouse your full and undivided loyalty, and your full and unstinting support.

Even if their failings are an itch you desperately want to scratch by airing them.

You promised.


  1. Absolutely, Andrew. Nothing's worse than one spouse's lame attempts at humor as they disrespectfully use their spouses as the butt of their jokes.

    Bad stuff to watch. Bad stuff to be the target.

    1. Thanks for stopping in, Linda.

      You're right - it is bad to watch, and unfortunately either draws us in as 'sitting in the seat of the scornful' (for are our mates not a sacrament?), or puts us into a position of conflict. Neutrality is, unfortunately, acceptance.

      And standing up against that sort of thing can get us dumped on from both sides - a wife who's just been made the butt of her husband's lame joke (or vice versa) will jump in to protect their spouse against righteous correction.

      As an observer - you almost can't win.