Tuesday, November 20, 2012
The Devil's Secret Name
So...don't wait! Start now! Because tomorrow could be too late.
I thought about this post for a long time before deciding to publish it. We all want to think that it's never too late, as long as we're still breathing. But in matters of the heart, honestly, I think that sometimes it is.
The expression that's gained currency in today's world is 'moving on'. Ugh. What a horrible way of putting it. Sounds like Donald Trup deciding to pass on a merger.
I don't have a nickname for 'Too Late'. It doesn't need one.
It seeps in, like a damp fog infiltrating a bedroom through poorly-sealed windows.
Many would equate 'Too Late' with romatic interest finding another object. "I don't feel that way about my wife any more, but when I talk to the gal in the next cubicle my heart seems to skip a beat..."
Believe it or not, this is the better part of Too Late. This is a brink from which one can return, and with effort (and usually help from a counselor) rediscover those feelings for a spouse. The desire for romance is still there - it's just starved, for one reason or another. (Please, please don't look at this as condining extramartial relationships!)
The lowest circle of 'Too Late' is when you stop being able to see yourself in a romantic relationship at all. We all function, to some degree, as theatergoers in the moviehouse of our life-to-come, seeing the potential of our life and the role we can play, and then finding a way to make it true.
But when we can't see something that was once alive in a daily reality, we're in big, big trouble. Vision and a forward-looking imagination are the ladder that helps us climb over walls, but take away that ladder, and you're left staring at the bricks.
Staring at the bricks, and ultimately wondering why you're even there. The insidious evil of Too Late is that it spreads. You'll find yourself wondering what love even means, and then what friendship means. You'll wonder why anyone even bothers.
You'll see others who are making their dreams true in their lives, and you'll go from wishing you were like that, to 'knowing' you can never be like that, to thinking that the poor people are simply delusional.
Too Late will kill you, because it is the devil's secret name.