They can be useful - a man watching football makes a good paperweight, and during the college basketball playoff season, a good planter.
And, ladies, you can, and do, marry them.
Today's topic, written by a man, is how to cope with that decision.(A lot of what follows applies to women as well, of course, but I can only say that from observation...as it applies to men, I live it.)
- We're not insensitive knuckledraggers - most men have a sensitive and romantic streak whose depth would surprise you. Think of the novels that move you...many of them are written by men, such as Nicholas Sparks and Richard Paul Evans (and, I hope, me!). Same with romantic poetry, and songs. These aren't all produced with an eye on revenue. A lot of the emotion comes from the heart, and isn't faked.
- We have a desire for monogamy - hard to believe? Not really. Look at what moves the men you know - loyalty to a team, or to a school, or a regiment. Loyalty to a restaurant. All of these examples purposely include the word loyalty, because that's the defining concept. Make you husband feel like he's part of a team, your team, and you've given him an identity for belonging.
- We're easily hurt - this, you may have noticed. It's not that men have big egos, or small egos...it's more closely connected with belonging, and the desire to be well-thought-of in the 'group'. It's a cliche for men to carry the hurt of being the last picked for baseball at school into their adult lives. Most hurts in a marriage are unintentional - you may say something offhand, with the intention to improve things, and it comes across as criticism. This is particularly true pertaining to sex - criticism, or ridicule, will change your relationship forever. It may not wreck it, but things will never be as they were.
- We don't have one-track minds - while men and women experience sex differently, both physically and emotionally, the monomania of men is also something of a cliche. It's more a function of changed social mores - where sex on the second date becomes expected, it's a valid 'goal', and part of the equation of the relationship at an early stage. Earlier than it should be.
- What you think of us is more important than almost anything else - we married you, or chose a relationship with you, and your opinion isn't 'big'. It's huge.One word, one look, one touch can change the course of our day.
What would you add to this...or what would you subtract?